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1y ago

evangelism

92 comments

All you need to know is that he labeled himself as a consultant. Which reminds me of this joke.
Once upon a time there was a shepherd tending his sheep at the edge of a country road. A brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him.
The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, Jovial Swiss wrist watch and a BHS tie gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?" The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sprawling field of sheep and says: "Okay."
The young man parks the SUV, connects his notebook and wireless modem, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150 page report on his high tech mini printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says:"You have exactly 1,586 sheep here. "
The shepherd answers: "That's correct, you can have your sheep."The young man takes one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "Now, if I guess your profession, will you pay me back in kind?" The young man answers: "Sure." The shepherd says: "You are a consultant." "Exactly! How did you know," asks the young man? Very simple, answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew. Third, you do not understand anything about my business and I'd really like to have my dog back."
- From my experience working for a management consulting firm. It's more like everyone knows what the problems are and how to fix them, but they are too scared of screwing up to do something about it.
  So they hire a consultancy company to tell them what they already knew and take the blame if something goes wrong.
  "No one ever gets fired for hiring McKinsey"
  
  “No one ever get fired for hiring McKinsey”
  They fucking should. I mean, I understand why that doesn’t happen, given the world we live in, but man… McKinsey is fucking evil incarnate
- My old boss used to say, "a consultant is someone who borrows your watch and then charges you when you ask for the time"
- A brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, Jovial Swiss wrist watch and a BHS tie
  As a long time consultant, this reminded me of Are you a prostitute or are you a consultant?
  Specifically, "The client always thinks your “cut” of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you."
  
  I do NOT miss being yelled at by some middle management Kevin about how I'm charging them $275 per hour to justify their getting whatever crazy shit isn't in the purchase agreement. I wish I made $275/hour. That'd be amazing.

I think the best part about this is the guy is saying that AI = 0. I want to hope that's intentional but I know it's not.
- AI is standing in for the relativistic mass fraction. The faster the hype machine spins, the more AI matters.

This is so terrible it physically pains me.
- This is terrible physics. It pains me

This is why businesspeople are kept in cages away from the scientist and engineer enclosures
- If only. We really need to launch a population cull, their invasive behavior is endangering other species.
  
  We are on our way, problem is, the rich and the asocial are going to survive...

As someone who studied CS at uni for 3 years I saw first hand how there's plenty of idiots in this field. Two of my classmates identified as Nazis and thought that the holocaust didn't happen, besides a significant chunk leaning to the right more generally.
There's plenty of really smart people working in the field of AI, but there's also plenty of people who just think they're smart.
- I think this pretty much applies to all fields. Everything looks complicated and hard to outside people, but once you get into the field, you realize that most people are just average.
  
  Plus with very specialized fields you get the effect of "really great at this one thing and absolutely nothing else".
  If that One Thing ends up being worth a lot of money, these people often end up with a SUPER inflated sense of self importance..

Alternate take: this is the same sort of mark self-sorting that scam artists use.
A reasonable person isn’t gonna reply to a typo-ridden email from a Nigerian prince. But those few who do are going to be easy to get everything from.
Imagine you’re an executive at the company your dad founded. You’re an idiot. Everyone knows you’re an idiot. But you think you’re smart. This guy is willing to consult with you about how your company will use AI (for a modest fee, of course). You don’t understand AI, but you think you do, and you just need someone to help with the details. And everyone has to nod their heads and agree to pay him because they’re afraid of getting fired.
You don’t have to fool everyone.
- I have watched those exact guys eat an organization I worked for alive. At the end, they had like... 10 business consultants and 1 junior engineer. At an electronics engineering company.
  https://i.natgeofe.com/n/4c509f20-8730-4cd1-a90b-6681394c92ca/NationalGeographic_1742512_3x2.jpg
- I can still hear the penny dropping in my mind when I went from ‘How can anyone fall for that—it’s so obviously a scam…’ to ‘Oh, right…’ It sounded too Machiavellian to be true. I wonder if it was so carefully designed from the start, or a process of natural selection?

I can suggest an equation that has the potential to impact the future:
Acetyl-CoA + 3H₂O + 3NAD⁺ + FAD + ADP + Pi → 2CO₂ + 3NADH + 3H⁺ + FADH₂ + CoA-SH + ATP + H₂O + AI
This combines the Krebs Cycle which relates to glucose metabolism with the addition of artificial intelligence (AI). By including AI in the equation, it symbolises my ability to wank myself to completion without touching my cock, simply by massaging my engorged ego.

These people have zero idea how AI works
- No, they know how it really works.
  You write "AI" on something and you get paid more. It's like "organic" on food.
  
  Fuck yea, buzzwords were the original free money glitch and it still works wonders lmao
- These people have zero idea how anything works
  
  They seem to be well acquainted with how the average human mentally works.
- They created an equation where AI equals zero.

I can suggest an equation that has the potential to change the future...
E = MC² + S
S stands for sandwich...because I'm having one, for lunch...
- And here I sit, sandwichless.
- This revelation is about to change my whole lunch (I'm also gonna have a sandwich)
  
  spooky action at a distance!

This is comically stupid

AI=E-mc²
AI=0
Therefore, AI is useless.
Thank you for attending my talk.
- I was just going to solve for AI but I am glad someone got that covered off already

"P = G + E + block chain
Phenotype = Genotype + Environment, but now the equation respects the contribution of block chain NFTs. with enough bored apes getting slurpjuice, we can revolutionize dementia into a value-add for the marketplace."
me, a Technology Management Consultant.

Who let the tedX drone out of their cage?

AI is the crypto of 2024. Every Tom Dick and Harry is suddenly an expert in AI
- And shilling it.
  Make it stop.

Wouldn't this just mean AI=0?
- Yes, but that does not mean AI has 0 influence. Rather, AI is a circle, a shape with no beginning or end, suggesting that AI has endless and infinite potential. Now, let's say you want to remove AI from the equation - imagining a world without AI. What happens when you divide by zero? You can't, because dividing by zero is undefined. Thusly, a world (future or past) without AI is now an impossibility. This is simply the laws of mathematics.
  Property Manager, AI Consultant
  
  AI is an idea, a world-historical heroine, light itself.

This reminds me of that TEDx (I think it was TEDx) talk where the guy claimed that you could see the letters E=mc² in the Devanagari symbol for Om, as if this revealed some sort of profound truth about the universe.
The funny thing is that that's literally all I remember about that talk. I don't remember what the guy was talking about for the ten to twenty minutes before that point, just that the talk concluded with him looking super self-satisfied while saying something incredibly silly and cringeworthy.
- Ted talks went from mildly interesting to Deepak Choprarian nonsense so insanely fast.
  
  Tedx is a service you pay to come and pretend you have words worth saying, like how you pay Guinness world records to come and hand you a fancy plaque
  
  I just listened to the most recent Behind the Bastards on forensic 'science' used in court cases and Robert played a clip of one guy who had a Ted talk where he spoke about how he uses divining rods to find dead bodies buried in the ground.
  The worst part is this guy is still employed in the field, testifies as an expert witness to get people convicted of crimes, grifts families of missing persons claiming he can find them for a fee based on their body's "unique frequency" (obtained from fingernail clippings), consults/instructs law enforcement on his techniques using taxpayer funds, and worked until recently at the famous body farm at the Univeristy of Tennessee.
- Reminds of various evangelical speakers seeing "crosses" in nature or cheese toasties and thinking they're profound. Truly a Christmas miracle that a pair of lines intersect.
  
  My favorite was the one who claimed to have converted to christianity after seeing 3 waterfalls and because he saw three of something one time that means the trinity is real.
- The Onion’s TED parodies capture this dumb shit perfectly

TeChNoLoGy gUrU
Two can play that game, BiG gUy! Here goes:
iγ · δψ = mψ + NFT
Tokens for quantum computing!
EDIT: Quantum Cryptoken Dynamics!
Hey, look at me, I'm a Lemmy spiritual singularity money tech guru now!
Hi, mom!

We the People Who Work In Tech, welcome you to the World of bullshit meisters making insane stuff up around your domain expertise area.
We've been living in it since at least the late 90s.

LinkedIn lunatic

Just because you had a thought, doesn’t mean you should write a TED talk on it.

Business homps trying to do math with no understanding or background smacks of clergy trying to do philosophy or athletes composing a symphony, sure you can try it but practically nobody is interested in your uninformed amateur gibberish nonsense.

These are the people we've let run our society

You can suggest that. It shows the world that you're an idiot, but you are technically allowed to suggest it.

So AI = E - mc²?
That's some crazy physics right there.
- So AI = 0? Sounds about right.

This implies that either A, I, or both are zero. So A*I means that anything artificial can not be intelligent and anything intelligent can not be artificial.
Dude played himself

Someone put that bro out to pasture he’s done

This has literally been written by a LLM, I’m sure of it
- Surprised no one else is saying this. It sounds exactly like an LLM, especially ChatGPT.
  
  I think that fact was overshadowed by the likely stupidity of the original prompt. (“Add AI to e=mc^2” or something)

Are those AI evangelists real? Or are they products or their products?
They sound like the latter to say the least.
- This guy's a consultant, he has to talk big.
- There's currently a ton of hype around LLMs, so companies are willing to spend a lot of money. And where there's money to be made, scammers aren't far away.

I’m like 90% sure that post was AI generated
- The 10% case it's not is even worse though.

I don't want to be on this planet anymore

Makes perfect sense. More AI means less matter and more energy.

I have never met a real linkedin Poster before. They must be amazing in person.

people like this really do exist and not as a satire no

I think my brain just fell out.

The way it's worded makes me sure it's written by a hallucinating AI.
- No, this was written by NS.
  
  We should adopt that abbreviation.

The true meaning of that is that AI development is gonna draw exponentially more energy and that's extremely inefficient to do the way it's done and we're all fucked

Dumbass.

i thought it was a troll but it's real?

Nobody tell this guy about the momentum term

What

What

I fucken hate Sales.

92 comments