Remote View

4mo ago

Men, you're competing against fallout centaurs now.

58 comments

I have never used TikTok, so maybe they're right about this, but there's a good chance that selective memory bias is at play here, which is when you only focus on the examples that prove your preexisting beliefs and forget about all the examples that didn't.
- True, there's a good chance this wasn't a scientific endeavor.
  
  True, there's a good chance people will treat it as such anyway.
- Ha, the explanation is probably even more simple. The ones that were wild were liked and shared, the ones that were normal didn't get any engagement.
  You can't get good metrics from social media without being able to access the entire data set.

This started out way more fun than it ended
- It's just sugar coated misandry.
- Like seriously, how do you go from "haha these people have silly horny thoughts" to "you're an insufferable human being if you can't get laid"? That sounds like what a middle school bully might say.
  
  "As long as you don't have any standards, you can get laid!"
  Gee, thanks.

Nah, there were definitely guys with wild picks as well. The most memorable for me was the guy that chose the number 8. Although, I guess this example works against my point, cause it shows that guys would fuck anything with curves and holes.

It just sounds like two different age groups were being described, not two genders

Wait, wait wait.
Tell me about the part where we get to eat cake.
- No no no, you get to have the cake, not eat it, too.
  
  You can't eat the cake and have it too.

Not a fan of the negative tone of OOP, tbh.
The message here imo is less "you must be awful if women aren't fucking you" and more "looks don't matter, be chill."
- Some genuinely nice men who are socially awkward/autistic might see this and take it to heart that they are bad at their core.

Or...or...hear me out: society and social media has bred a collection of individuals that do stupid shit strictly just to generate traffic. I highly doubt any of those women would ever, if actually faced with those, do it or want to. It's for the shock value and to get the interaction going. Basically 'any publicity is good publicity'.
- There are people paying obscene amounts of money for certain... subjects to be portrayed. I guarantee you the majority are not doing it for shock value. https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=pq0kqhhi344 Some of the pictures there are... problematic.

Hey! This is one of those texts that no matter how many times I read it I still have absolutely zero clue what it's saying.
- There's a trend where you print an unorthodox fictional character that you want to bone on a cake and then make your case for why they're attractive.
  OOP is saying that from what they've seen, men generally choose characters that everyone considers hot and women choose fucked-up, grotesque monsters.
  The thesis of the post being: If women don't wanna fuck you then you're doing something crazy wrong because some of them want to fuck the xenomorph from Alien.
  
  There’s a trend where you print an unorthodox fictional character that you want to bone on a cake and then make your case for why they’re attractive.
  This doesn't make any sense to me. I'm imagining someone holding a cake with piece of paper laying on top of it which has a disney character printed on it and the person is explaining why they want to have sex with said character. Even if that is exactly what it's describing it still doesn't make any sense to me. That entire scenario is completely incoherent to me. What does the cake have to do with anything and why does there need to be a picture printed? Who are they making the case for and why?
- Seriously. Who the fuck actually wastes their time on this shit?
  Edit: Self-reflection creeps in as I realize I'm just getting old and these kids on my lawn are just speaking their idiot slang.
  
  Same. I read these and it gets so surreal, I need to share it.
  Dunno if it's like kids eating tidepods where a few did it and now it's a national meme, or if this is just the deep basements of Tumblr.

No it's because I don't leave my house anymore unless I'm going to work or grocery shopping because I haven't been drinking at bars, and I don't use apps. My carapace may not be as chitinous as a xenomorph, and have me beat with the acid blood, but my personality is books and jokes, and at least I don't reproduce parasitically...(wait..shit I guess we do..)
- If you're looking for excuses to go out that isn't drinking at bars - Look into book clubs, silent book readings, art classes and board game meetups...
  Most of my friends are not alcoholics, where I like drinking but hate the noise of bars. All of those events cater to all types!
  
  Hey those aren't bad ideas, thanks!

I choose things I would want to fuck based on how I think it would physically feel. I don't think fucking a concept or a xenomorph would be physically pleasurable. I mean, sure the xeno is wet but they also look like they'd be hard; like fucking a sea shell.
- Also their bodily fluids are extremely corrosive.
  
  That's the fun part!

Men can be monster fuckers too! I would know.
- (me eyeing some Elden Ring beasts all hornily)
- Oh yeah
- Yes wasp queen, use your ovipositor. I'm ready~

If my experience on the internet tells me anything, it's that people are fucked in the head when it comes to sex.
- ear sex isn’t real sex!
  How else are people supposed to "fuck their brains out"??

Instructions unclear: I tried to smash the cake and now I have a toothpick stuck in my hand
- Oh, stuck in your hand! Could've been worse.

Its not just girls that wanna smash the Xenomorph

I could've used this explanation about a month ago
- I still don't understand what the fuck a cake has to do with it. In my universe, a cake is for special occasions, not whatever trivial bullshit this is.

I can't compete with fallout centaurs, I don't have tentacle tongues :(

tl;dr: Having a real personality will get you laid more than money or muscles. Worked for me. Best yet, if you're real, you get invited back, get to be a repeat offender. 😈 Advice from dad, "Son, if you want that pussy again, get in there and eat it right the first time." Do that thing.
Helps if you're not trying to use a woman as a sex toy, treat them for what they are, another human you want to enjoy sex with. Also, solid grooming goes a long way, easy and free, or near enough. Trim your nails, style your hair, take a shower, brush and floss, dress yourself and lay off the pork rinds you fat fucks.
SOURCE: Short, old, scrawny fucker with a 50+ body count. Here's me soaking wet in thrift store clothes and gear. You can do this. (Never went for count, gross stat, wanted solid relationships, just worked that way over the decades.)
- Something tells me you also have self confidence. Something I've never had.

Shenpai vibes. She did a smash-or-pass video for all of the characters in Pokemon, and I mean ALL of the characters in Pokemon, and her friends were calling her shots before they left Johto.
Also: the chart.

This is some "raises up spork" shit.

Y'all are free to post your own picks in the replies. No judgement (probably).

58 comments