Men, you're competing against fallout centaurs now.

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Hey! This is one of those texts that no matter how many times I read it I still have absolutely zero clue what it's saying.
- There's a trend where you print an unorthodox fictional character that you want to bone on a cake and then make your case for why they're attractive.
  OOP is saying that from what they've seen, men generally choose characters that everyone considers hot and women choose fucked-up, grotesque monsters.
  The thesis of the post being: If women don't wanna fuck you then you're doing something crazy wrong because some of them want to fuck the xenomorph from Alien.
  
  There’s a trend where you print an unorthodox fictional character that you want to bone on a cake and then make your case for why they’re attractive.
  This doesn't make any sense to me. I'm imagining someone holding a cake with piece of paper laying on top of it which has a disney character printed on it and the person is explaining why they want to have sex with said character. Even if that is exactly what it's describing it still doesn't make any sense to me. That entire scenario is completely incoherent to me. What does the cake have to do with anything and why does there need to be a picture printed? Who are they making the case for and why?
  
  Sounds like you understand the scenario, though.
  Less Disney character and more fucked-up horror character though. When I say 'unorthodox' I mean 'no sane person has sexual thoughts about this creature.'
  
  I elaborated on my reply. I just don't get it.
  
  That's fair, but you did accurately describe the scenario in your reply. So you at the very least understand what the scenario is, even if you don't get the motivation.
  
  The cake aspect is weird and I don't know why it's part of it. Don't get caught up on that. It's almost like how at gender reveal parties they do colored icing in a cake, but the cake itself is not necessarily inherent to the gender reveal. "Hear me out" scenario is a thing. People were doing a trend where they put them in cakes. Why? No real reason. Doesn't really make sense.
  Maybe it started with something more specific like getting a cake with an image of a "hear me out" character printed on it and evolved to people putting them on sticks in the cake.
  In any case, I'm actually doing this for a friend's birthday party this weekend. I'll let you know what happens.
- Seriously. Who the fuck actually wastes their time on this shit?
  Edit: Self-reflection creeps in as I realize I'm just getting old and these kids on my lawn are just speaking their idiot slang.
  
  Same. I read these and it gets so surreal, I need to share it.
  Dunno if it's like kids eating tidepods where a few did it and now it's a national meme, or if this is just the deep basements of Tumblr.
  
  Much like the tidepod thing when only a very small number of people actually ate them and most were just making shit posts, I don't think most people literally genuinely want to have sex with many of these things. There is something to be said for enjoying the aesthetic of a kink, but not wanting to actually engage in it.
  
  Eating Tide pods wasn't even a bit real. A few children tried to make videos where they pretend to eat them, but simply biting one and spitting it straight out can kill you as they're so reactive with the tissue in your mouth that they liquify your tongue, flow to your throat, liquify that, flow to your lungs, and liquify enough of those that you suffocate. The media reported this as children eating tide pods for tiktok, so more children tried making fake videos off the back of that, not realising that they were doing the dangerous thing rather than a danger-adjacent safe-wish thing.

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