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Posts
66
Comments
617
Joined
5 mo. ago

  • Aging

    Jump
  • “Hello me!”

  • She’s proven she can handle herself.

  • Dear lord when violet08 sees this she’s gonna post nonstop for like a week.

  • Psh! I don’t need a bidet to experience this.

  • That just means your meal was freshly picked from the burrito tree. Geesh, some people…

  • After all, what is Star Wars if not an endless parade of retcons?

  • It was an ‘86 Renault Alliance. My dad would take me to random empty parking lots to practice. I remember all us kids in the neighborhood were about the same age and it was a major competition to see who could get their license first. I don’t remember who did. It wasn’t me.

    Years later, when I was out of the military and starting college, my dad got me a ‘91 Nissan pickup. It was a manual transmission, and I didn’t know how to drive one. He said, “by the time you get it home, you’ll know how to drive a stick.” So I drove it home, and by the time I got it home, I still didn’t know how to drive a stick.

  • Join me and we can rule the galaxy as husband and wife!

  • But who’s gonna fly it? You???

  • TIE is the acronym for Twin Ion Engine.

    I mean the bow tie thing kinda works too, but yeah.

  • Where are my testicles, Summer?

  • Same energy

  • cats @lemmy.world

    Noodle on morning bathroom sentry duty

  • Fucking with my ex, example #47:

    We’d start a road trip, get about a mile or so down the road, and I’d say, “Did I leave the oven on?”

  • Sure. Let’s see it.

    Also, the imadethis community exists exactly for stuff like that.

  • I learned very quickly that there are people in music academia who will very loudly and obnoxiously state their very sound reasons why Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony is a pile of hot garbage. And from that I learned to just make whatever’s in me to make, and the best possible outcome is that it gets attention.

  • My dad: gestures toward the gun safe

  • I think it’s fair to say that men who say “Shoulda kept your legs shut,” are the kind of men for whom no one is opening their legs.

  • Dull Men's Club @lemmy.world

    I've had this puzzle on my phone for years. Every few months I'd glance at it and try and solve it. Last night, as I was eating dinner, I finally figured out the answer!

  • cats @lemmy.world

    Catch the dot, Noodle! What's wrong, did you lose it??

  • cats @lemmy.world

    Sometimes at work I'll take a break, pull up my security camera at home, and watch Noodle sleeping.

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    What fictional animal do you think would be the most delicious?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    How small does a broken potato chip have to be before you consider it a crumb?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    Have you ever made friends with a wild animal?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    If you do a lot of meal prep for your lunches at work, what do you do?

  • Risa: Your Home Away from Spacedock @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Make Sector 001 great again

  • cats @lemmy.world

    Guys I can't find Noodle. Has anyone seen her?

  • Risa: Your Home Away from Spacedock @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    The answer is "Because Seven ate nine." What was the question?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    What would you consider the ideal "stoner food?"

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    Do you record your own voicemail greeting or do you just use whatever default thing your carrier does? If you do, do you make it funny or something?

  • cats @lemmy.world

    Noodle thinks she knows how to play. Noodle does not know how to play.

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    A group of crows is a murder. A group of apes is a shrewdness. What's a group of you called?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    Do you make a grocery list, or do you just go to the store and wing it?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    Do any of you actually know someone who legitimately believes there's an actual "War on Christmas?"

  • cats @sh.itjust.works

    My table time now. Ur table time done. Mine now. Go way plz.

  • Ask Lemmy @sh.itjust.works

    Chickens are now extinct. What are we doing next?

  • Ask Lemmy @sh.itjust.works

    Emotionally speaking, where are you at with the holidays? You still get that warm fuzzy feeling or has it lost its magic for you?