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dennis5wheel

@ dennis5wheel @programming.dev

Posts
15
Comments
50
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • does it pay the same? really curious now.

    maybe I'm falling for the sunk costs fallacy?

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • right back at you

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • I wouldn’t be in too much of a hurry with that if you live in the US.

    would you elaborate?

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • is this advice applicable to non managers?

    About your second paragraph: Don't you find it tiring having 2 personalities?

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • how optimistic of you:

    this only works when the person you share the unit with is not somebody who yells everything that happens through his mind.

    Psych? Last time I worked there a gay guy 7 feet tall started blatantly hitting on me. no thanks.

    And I chose this job out of desperation. Won't delve into this now.

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • you write "they" and "finding". They ain't looking for anything, manager told me she is over me, she's not 'helping' anymore and I'm supposed to be looking for a new unit.

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • You see smiling at the receptionist for five minutes a day as an unacceptable working condition; but you need to understand that part of keeping a job you like includes managing your coworkers.

    it's not only smiling, it's giving attention to somebody I dislike that tires me.

    I have no problem with work friendship that grow naturally, but they have to grow... naturally. Placing me in a environment with an instruction like 'be friends with these people' doesn't work for me.

    You write managing your coworkers, even if I'm a coworker myself and not a manager. Ain't that a manager's job?

    about your second paragraph: you're such a good actor. I'm too transparent.

    I have myself occasionally had coworkers or other call me rude or condescending, and I’ve never really found a way out from under that when it’s happened.

    and people who hear them complain are not mature enough to ask for the other side before jumping to conclusions, you mean...

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • The managers were not saying you need to be best buds with anyone, just that you need to play along with social dynamics sometimes instead of never.

    then we have very different ideas of what is tolerable: to me faking interest is already too much.

    I don't mean that all coworkers/extroverted everywhere are like this, because up until I was fired I was unofficially showing the ropes to a younger coworker who, for whatever reason, chose to trust me. I actually enjoyed talking to her because she was also, work oriented and not gossip oriented. She understood that she was there to work and learn.

    I'm going to write what goes through my mind when they waste their breath: first I listen to guess if they talk about something I could relate to but most times it doesn't so if there's nothing to do (downtime) I disengage and learn, because I want to be better. When they speak about their stuff, they ignore alarms, patients asking for help and other office jobs and why on earth should I cater to patients when they are like that?

    They're better than me and there's so much stuff I could learn from them, because up until my firing I was being trained, but they prefer to talk about... unrelated stuff. It's always me the one who has to inquire about procedures or ECG so they explain something. Most of them are passive.

    But this is something management won't see...

    I appreciate your post

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • Reading through the responses, it is blatantly clear that you are autistic

    would you elaborate?

    When someone else is speaking, do you wait for them to finish speaking before you do?

    yes. otherwise I'm being rude. Person A speaks, then Person B speaks. I don't interrupt the person talking to me and don't allow anyone to interrupt me. If they interrupt me or yell I disengage and walk away. Why yelling?

    Are you aware of the tone of your own voice?

    I don't get what you mean. I talk in a clear, loud, neutral voice looking the person I talk to in the eyes, except when I'm busy. I can express questions and exclamations if you mean that. If I'm in dire need of something I yell to the room.

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • I have nothing to write but thank your for posting. You seem to have more knowledge about this than me.

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • it doesn’t matter how hard you work,how much you learn or what you do. If you don’t blend in with your coworkers at least a little bit, you’ll always be the odd one. Depending on who your manager is, that’s enough to get tired.

    thank you. And now if you excuse me I'm going to get drunk and celebrate. yay!

    for most people, being together and social seems to give them energy, while it drains my energy.

    and here's where we are different: you can stand those energy vampires. I cannot. They give me massive headaches.

    to succeed you must find a way to be more social, take critism and be aware of the way you communicate and behave towards others and how others will see you because of that.

    I find it so hard to fake interest. it's so sad coworkers treat the office/hospital like a school.

    Anyhow, thank you for you insightful post and I don't know if I may need to ask you something privately in the future

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • I'm discovering this the hard way.

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • this is an insightful comment:

    When you ignore them instead of engaging on every topic, they think you are giving them the silent treatment, which is also associated with children

    but they bore me. And engaging EVERY topic?

    Give you the mature ones you can learn from, you say. Have you engaged those people?

    hell yeah. Up until I was fired I was learning from them.

    But I am saying expecting people to care about you, understand you and treat you well, while you make no effort to do the same, is completely naive and hypocritical.

    I disagree: to extroverts this comes naturally, effortless whereas I have to consciously engage and listen to a boring story. To me this is like a second job of top of my duties. Not worth it. I don't want them to treat me well, I want them to treat me professionally.

    What also bothers me is the expectation of having to be best buddies with everyone there. I like choosing my friends. I cannot fake.

    I appreciate your comments because you seem genuine but this answer is going to be downvoted into oblivion.

    As a matter of fact I don't believe a learning focused person like me, relatively new to the ER, can fake being extroverted. These behaviors slow me down.

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • I am really this disconnected. thanks

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • Its bullshit and I left that job because the introverts doing real work were under rewarded while people who talked loud a didn’t do shit got promotions.

    true and a short story:

    in one of the units I worked at I found a nurse similar to me: socially awkward and introverted. The best worker of that unit. She would clock in, get report, get to work. Always. She was the only one at that unit working like that consequently, daily, to the point of skipping pauses and doing overtime for free.

    To this day I believe this person, so similar to me, maybe even more introverted than me did that because she was also bullied at other units for being herself and the only way she found of defending herself and not being bullied was working according to standard, those completely unrealistic standards managements prints but everyone disregards because life happens at a hospital.

    It's a perfect defense mechanism for an introvert: if I work nobody can talk to me therefore I won't be bullied.

    Except that this work rhythm is completely unsustainable and I won't do it.

    To add insult to injury, this coworker, even though she is the most hardworking person at that unit and extremely organized will never be promoted because she, like me, doesn't know to play the social game extroverts excel at.

    story's over

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • The habits I developed

    holy %#@$, you re a good actor. I'm a terrible one and have no patience for that. Kudos to you for being so good faking it I guess? I'm too transparent

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • true, I like getting to the point so nobody wastes energy, but people believe what they want to believe and are really fast making assumptions.

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • 40/60 rule here.

    I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to ask what you mean: 40% taking 60% giving?, 40% concentrating on my job 60% talking about inane stuff to placate them?

  • Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

    Jump

  • good post.

  • Asklemmy @lemmy.ml
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    Socially inept, introverted employees. How do you survive the workplace? Because I’m in dire need of some serious advice.

  • Android @programming.dev
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    what f-droid or droid-ify wallet should I use?

  • Asklemmy @lemmy.ml
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    is this something only introverts struggle with?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    is this something only introverts struggle with?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    is telling an employee how he has to speak micromanaging? Is it toxic?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    I washed my black underwear and now one of my black socks looks brownish on one side. How do I return the sock to its original black?

  • Asklemmy @lemmy.ml
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    for those of you with good communication skills, what do I tell my manager so she stops telling me I need to talk more (socially)?

  • Asklemmy @lemmy.ml
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    dear introverts, what can I answer to a needy and clingy coworker who believes not talking means something's wrong (with me), so he leaves me alone?

  • Asklemmy @lemmy.ml
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    can you help me name this falsetto pop/rock song?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    how do I accept I'll never know why any employer rejected me?

  • Work Reform @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    is this the right way to establish boundaries with my nosy coworkers at the hospital?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    is this the right way to establish boundaries with my nosy coworkers at the hospital?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    I’m 43 but everyone at the workplace thinks I’m 25. Is this something I need to change?

  • Work Reform @lemmy.world
    dennis5wheel @programming.dev

    I’m 43 but everyone at the workplace thinks I’m 25. Is this something I need to change?