I know it broke the editorial voice, but it was too good to leave on the table.
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The Onion @midwest.social Us Department of Violence and Apathy Declares 3 Thoughts, 40 Prayers for Church School Shooting
The Onion @midwest.social Trump White House Not Looking For Nuclear Launch Codes
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Identifying agents and their families is the silver bullet, which is why it’s seen as such an offense to the government. Currently, agents are able to threaten people and their families without similar threat, and they’re confident in their numbers in a fight. If they faced the same fears they impose, they would chill out very quickly.