TACOMA, WA—Operating on pure natural instinct while leaping into action to protect his beloved owners, heroic dog Snickers saved a local family of five from the threat of an herb-roasted chicken, sources confirmed Wednesday. “It was a close call, but luckily Snickers could sense the golden brown ski...
They just… blocked me. Like I’m some kind of annoyance, rather than the iconoclastic and fascinating truth-teller which I know myself to be.
The Hague, Netherlands – The International Criminal Court has issued arrest warrants for Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu and former Defence Minister Yoav Gallant in a clear demonstration of its bias against people who organize the mass slaughter of thousands upon thousands of innocent civilians. “Toda...
Some things are just too good to be true, and one seemingly attractive place to live and work is hiding a pretty major downside: This walkable city…
PENNSYLVANIA — An Imperial Stormtrooper was seen fleeing the scene after Donald Trump was rushed off stage during a rally in Pennsylvania. Trump was in…
A man has today insisted that the Nazis were socialists, because it was their chosen name, despite insisting that self-identification is a ‘cancer on society’.
Reform voters across the country have been left bemused as to why Nigel Farage hasn’t been installed in 10 Downing Street after such a successful evening at the polls.
“Me no get it,” explained Reform Voter Derek Williams, with a deeply furrowed brow and finger in his ear.
“Nigel won. Nigel get house. Nigel the big boss now?” they queried, with all the political sophistication the Reform party has come to rely on during the election campaign.
“Where Nigel? WHERE Nigel??”
When it was explained to Derek that Nigel won a single constituency, out of 650, and that Reform MPs can actually be counted on one hand, Derek looked ever more perplexed.
“Consti-chewsy? Nigel win election. Not Consti-chewsy! Nigel WIN! NIGEL STOP BOATS!”
At this point Derek began to get agitated, and it was decided it was best to calm him by returning him to his natural habitat inside a Wetherspoons with a copy of the Daily Mail in front of him.
“UNITED” STATES OF AMERICA – To the surprise of international observers, millions of Americans chose to celebrate the anniversary of their declaration of independence today, despite the fact that this decision has clearly not worked out. “It’s a bit sad really, seeing them run around with red, white...
ATLANTA—Checking in at the building’s visitor desk under the singular name “Janitor,” the Trump boys reportedly broke into an office at CNN headquarters Thursday, attempting to steal the debate answers for their father. “All we gotta do is find Mr. Tapper’s office and steal the answer key,” said Don...
Instagram’s PR team apologized recently after a glitch temporarily restored the app to something resembling what it used to be when a user’s posts were consistently viewed by their followers.
STOCKHOLM — An internet hero was finally awarded for their work this week as the Swedish Academy has announced they will be giving the Nobel…
OTTAWA – Wealthy Canadians have begun a ‘Freegains convoy’ to Ottawa in their BMW X3s in protest of the government’s plan to raise the inclusion rate on annual capital gains in excess of $250,000.00 dollars. “Not since the city of Toronto tried to build affordable housing in Rosedale has our communi...
Man who calls women "females" hopes to one day be allowed within 500 meters of one
Women can reportedly still smell his Lynx Africa even from that distance
Free speech enthusiast now up to three boycotts a week
A man who is a staunch believer in free speech after spending the last four years bemoaning cancel culture, is now up to three boycotts a week because of people saying things he didn’t like.
Permanently Deleted
Wow. What a remarkably silly thing to say.
Closeted Republican politicians across the country breathed a collective sigh of relief following Elon Musk’s announcement that likes on X will no longer be public, multiple sources reported.
Fair. To be honest I just wanted to share my thoughts about The Green Mile. I love that movie lol.
lol well don’t beat yourself up about it, that’s understandable, and to be fair, it’s a great movie but I wouldn’t expect politicians in Texas to understand the message.
The men on the Green Mile were forced to carry out the execution of John Coffey (like the drink but not spelled the same) despite knowing he was probably innocent and might’ve genuinely been what religious people would call a vessel of God.
It’s a tragic story but one of Stephen King’s best because it does a great job of highlighting the hypocrisy of modern Christians. If Jesus came back tomorrow, they’d find a reason to persecute and execute him again.
Government officials in Texas announced their state will pay homage to the iconic film “The Green Mile” on the 25th anniversary of its release by executing 25 completely innocent people.
A new study out of Yale University that will certainly have ramifications for felines across the globe confirms that midnight is the perfect time for your cat to do 14 laps of your bedroom really, really fast, especially if you are asleep. “It’s important for a domestic cat to get a certain
Longtime Taylor Swift condemner Harris Simmons finally got around to hearing one of the famous pop singer’s songs, despite years of calling her “the worst thing to happen to music since the Spice Girls.”
Joe Biden’s son Hunter has officially withdrawn from the race to become President of the United States following his felony conviction for gun offences.
Joe Biden’s son Hunter has officially withdrawn from the race to become President of the United States following his felony conviction for gun offences.
Many right-wing commentators have long speculated what a felony conviction for Hunter Biden could mean for the political prospects of the Biden family, and Hunter has spoken publicly to put an end to all such speculation.
He told reporters, “Although I plan to appeal, I respect the judicial processes in the country, and the rule of law, and as such, I think it would bring shame on this great nation to have a convicted felon running for President – which is why today I announce that I have no intention of running for President, or any office for that matter.
“It would make a mockery of our democracy if I were to try and become President having just been judged to be a felon by a jury of my peers. How would we look on the world stage? I would have zero credibility outside of my own crazy supporters. That is no way to lead a nation
Former President Donald Trump announced that he is now just one indictment away from receiving a free, six-inch hoagie from the federal courthouse commissary.
Satire isn't always pure fiction. Sometimes it's just reiterating a stupid point to highlight how ridiculous it is. Satire doesn't mean "fake" and the success of the joke is not dependant on whether or not people are making those same arguments themselves. In fact, a lot of the best satire assumes the headline you're putting forward is mocking genuine but daft arguments.
Just because you managed to type out an opinion on the internet doesn't mean you are entitled to other people's time and effort.
Not every random hot take in the comment section of The Onion community is going to be worth engaging. Particularly when the point is "cities are all shitholes so you should just leave!"
Downvotes clearly from upset people
I love it when people edit their comments because their hot takes get downvoted but insist it's everyone else who is upset. Ha.
They don't seem upset to me just dismissive. If I had to guess I'd say they probably don't want to keep explaining to you what a facetious remark is. Which is probably a good idea, because you seem to be very dumb.
You don’t have to punctuate your comments with “just my opinion.” I can assure you, everyone knows it’s an opinion.
They post just enough random topics to claim they aren't a troll. Their goal is to spread just enough propaganda to discourage leftist and sway centrists on Lemmy (lol centrists on lemmy).
They’re a textbook example of a concern troll. But unlike Reddit, Lemmy is too small for their M.O. to go unnoticed. It’ll be nice when they eventually tire of their tactics being called out and go back to Reddit.
OP, do you ever check to see whether a news item has already been covered in the communities you post in? I suspect you don't because this seems to happen daily.
I know you’re a prolific poster but maybe you should slow down a bit to make sure you aren’t constantly leaving duplicate posts in your wake.
That makes absolutely no sense.
Feels over reals.
Oh wow, your comment history is almost entirely defending Elon Musk. That must be exhausting.