my liberal nephew has me brainwashed and i forgot what the problem is supposed to be with the transes and im worried everybody will laugh at me if i dont fix this before the trump dinner

remember the instance rules though no transphobia or youll be banned

PLEASE HELP

I LOVE DATING ROOT

i made a profile and i didnt have to worry about getting banned for saying what i really think and i mean i put up a picture with my maga hat and rebel flag and nobody reported me or tried to shut me down its great they let you say stuff like the n word there

i met all kinds of pretty ladys who sent me links to their onlyfans and even some cool guys who let me install early version of their software for free as a beta tester (one of the programs makes your laptop into a space heater i love it)

i really like how they charge you random amounts on random days without telling you so you dont have to stress about how expensive it is

dating root helped me have an affair

if youve never eaten tofu DO NOT TRY IT

it is so good

my nephew coerced me into trying it by calling me a pussy in front of my friends for refusing i pretended i hated it so the guys didnt think i was gay but it was so good and i cant get away with eating it in secret because my wife wont let me go to the grocery store anymore but i wouldnt want to eat it anyway because i heard it turns you into a girl

so anyway

thats why i need a manly alternative ive got these ungodly liberal cravings for tofu and theres no meatbased alternative... YET so i made this concept art using a website and now i just need to do three things

• patent it
• get a factory
• figure out how to make it

if you know how to do these things please tell me how to do them

edit source for that this is fake

poor gut motility and entertainment

the poo in my colon is getting quite large recently even getting some press coverage and there are unfortunately few posts promoting home remedies or distracting entertainment/drama

what happens then is that i eat out of boredom while i could be enjoying some drama so here are some stats

my wife is addicted to tampons

my wife asks me to buy tampons for her all the time she goes through a pack of 20 every month its like she cant get enough and i dont know what to do about it she takes them into the bathroom and does god knows what with them

this is a growing problem

when we first got together i had a feeling she might have a bit of a problem with them but she was covert about it but shes not even bashful about it anymore shell call me at the store and KNOWING that i have her on speakerphone shell ask me for the BIGGEST tampons they have

the liberals are normalizing it

theyve normalized addiction what with all their tiktoks and their fentanyl can you believe it the companies that make these things are just preying on people like my wife getting them hooked on this stuff its a total disgrace and whats worse is the FAKE news media wont even report on it they just ignore it ive called my local new about this several times

we have to stop thi

everyone is having so much fun dunking on my tiedfor3rd favorite admin and im feeling left out so how about this hows this for gatekeeping try this on for size

the only valid gender is patriot

from now on patriot will only refer to others with patriot/patriot pronouns although patriot know what this patriot really likes to say i and also patriot know what sounds stupid so i think existing colloquial expressions get a pass and i guess any one/thing/system that identifies with some invalid identity and specifies a preference for a pronoun besides patriot gets a pass too okay so lets break this down

• the only valid gender is patriot
• im keeping my first person pronouns due to being exceptional
• colloquial expressions are exempt
• invalid identities are allowed

*the gendered distinction between so called men and so called women and other such things is woke nonsense because listen youre either a patriot or not a patriot and thats that unless you feel stron

rip

https://www.chadcookinghamilton.com/recipe-cards?carotid=+12484345508

• 227 g fish creme (blend fish liver with fish oil to create a creamy paste)
• ]36 g fish protein isolate
• ]35 g fish protein powder
• ]21 g unflavored fish gelatin
• ]30 g fish oil powder (optional for flavor)
• ]24 g fish food flakes (optional for flavor)
• ]2 large caviars
• ]4.93 ml fish sauce (used to ensure all the bone ash is fully reacted to avoid bone ash taste)
• ]2 g fish bone ash (leavening agent)

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/25456723

liberals are so shallow

i am very handsome but you know what liberals only care about WhAtS oN tHe InSiDe

im at least a 6

im above average by definition but do liberals care no they dont even see that they see a man who says things they dont like well guess what im more than my beliefs and the words that come out of my mouth alright im a human body with MINIMAL back and knee pain can you believe it at my age

i used to bench 315

i could even throw a pigskin a quarter mile but whenever i bring that up on dates girls dont even care and yet IM the shallow one its absurd and they dont even care that i was popular in highschool but i care about their past because im not shallow i want to know if they were a cheerleader or a geek

look past the person and see me

liberals get stuck on shallow things like who i voted for and how i treat wait staff and that im technically married

cross posting here for visibility as i was thinking that a good chunk of you guys might have blocked !chadmctruthstruth@lemmy.world so may be unaware of whats going down and would like everyone to have a chance to voice their opinion on it

tldr learn how to read and then do some reading

i have pitched my name in to mod the .world comm as a serious comm to defend conservative ideology and here is a link to my original request post but im also copypasting it below

original https://lemmy.world/post/26104566

ignoring what gets upvoted and what is downvoted to oblivion its quite clear what the community at large wants

we want !conservative@lemmy.world to be another serious conservative comm like freeze peach patriots again because we dont have our own instance yet dedicated to our kind of freeze peach or really any other comms

c/conservative has been left headless okay and you know what id like to request to give it head and clean up any lefties on the community

ignoring what gets upvoted and what is downvoted to oblivion its quite clear what the community at large wants

we want !conservative@lemmy.world to be another serious conservative comm like freeze peach patriots again because we dont have our own instance yet dedicated to our kind of freeze peach or really any other comms

c/conservative has been left headless okay and you know what id like to request to give it head and clean up any lefties on the community

i am consistently online here except for the times im not and listen im prepared to take on the responsibility because im a patriot and im on a mission for truth and i wont back down

thank you for your consideration

the requested community link is !conservative@lemmy.world

additionally id also like to request !tomandjerry@lemmy.world as for that one it seems a boring nerd created it and has since been abandoned for years

eta

given the uncontroversial nature of the comms topic i have decided to remove any proposed se