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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

Sjmarf @sh.itjust.works

11mo ago

We cater any event!

obviousplant @lemmy.world

We cater any event!

145 3

69 comments

We really should start celebrating T u e s d a y s.
- Tuesdays are the most productive day of the week. Not a time for celebration, its business time.
  
  All the more reason to reduce productivity. Flatten the curve, lower expectations. Tuesday is the scab of weekdays. The other days need to strike.
  
  German Tuesday (Dienstag) roughly translates as duty-day (Dienst-Tag), probably not etymologically, but still.
- could we celebrate wednesdays instead? tuesdays are my weekly catered drug intervention with my mother.
  
  Throw a dead horse into the mix and we have a party.
  
  It wasn't Tuesday it was T u e s d a y. I am assuming it's like a normal Tuesday but in some uncanny valley creepy form.
- I heard that line in Bill Wurtz voice for some reason
  
  Truly the voice of several generations.
  
  That comment is basically a whole Bill Wurtz song.

Do you think they'd cater a horse funeral?
- What?? NO! Don't be silly. Where did you even get such a crazy idea? Are you even serious right now??? I mean, I have no words... A horse funeral, who even does that!
  
  Jim
- Bye bye lil sebastian
- Only T U E S D A Y S
- They do horse funerals and horse funerals, but I doubt they'd to horse funerals.
  
  They only do anniversaryies of horse funerals
- Only for the first and second year

Horse funeral
Horse funeral 2
Horse funeral: truly aww-foal
Horse funeral: equinity
- Like beating a dead horse.
  
  You both stop that shit right now

I love Obvious Plant
- Honestly, if I ran a catering business I might put up the same sign. What's the worst that can happen? 3 horse funerals?
- OOOHHHH so THAT'S where that pre-cracked egg comes from. I didn't know that was a whole joke account and store.

A catered quiet night alone sounds pretty dope actually.
- Waiter comes up with a tray: pig in a blanket?
  Me half stoned laying in bed: the fuck did you call me?
  
  Another one comes around to gather your empty champagne glasses…
  “This one’s still full, want me to leave it?”
  “Nah, you can dump it. I wasn’t up for going to the toilet after being called a pig in a blanket…”
- Catering companies would love to bring you food for 10 people and the plates to keep it warm for your quiet night alone. All you gotta do is pay.

Jim's coming back?!
- They should have put that one above the second horse funeral.
  
  Jim is the horse
- Jim had left?
  
  He went out for cigarettes and never came back!
- It's a Lemon Tango moment!

This just unlocked one of my weirdest childhood memories. I played fastpitch softball as a kid, and at one away game the school's softball field was next to a pasture. During warmups and the first several innings, we watched a guy dig a hole in the pasture. In the second inning or so, we hear a gunshot off in the distance, and the third has a truck dragging a horse corpse to the big hole. The man shoved the horse corpse into the grave, and takes three innings to bury the horse.
At the team huddle after the game, one of my teammates said an eulogy for the horse.
- I think we've made some great progress today, don't you? How does next Tuesday at 11 sound for our follow up.
- That’s brutal…
  I went to a middle school that sat next to a farm. A number of our athletic matches were canceled due to the cows getting out and one was canceled because the farmer shot a coyote on our baseball field & left it.

Careful. Read their reviews online and I'm not so sure about this place. They served deviled eggs at the return of Jim and everyone knew Jim hated eggs. Some people argued this was even why Jim left again and didn't stay returned.

Jim is back? Why didn't anybody tell me? Is he doing fine?
- Jim the horse? I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
  
  The horse his name is Jim
  
  Just after his wedding... :(

Finally, someone to cater my horse wedding with drugs on a quiet Tuesday night!

Bye... Bye... 🎶 Lil' Sebastian... 🎶
- I miss him in the saddest fashion.

"For You, The Day Bison Graced Your Village Was The Most Important Day Of Your Life. But For Me, It Was TUESDAY"

"You know you don't need to bring a dead horse every time you want catering right, Jim?"
- “Jim has returned! But this time he brought us a live horse…. you think he’s still going to ask us to cater its funeral?”

Can they do an horse funeral on a Tuesday? It's not clear from the text.
- Come inside for a free consultation.
- Yes, they serve a double feature of rum and rosswurst.

LMAOA, that reminded me of one of the teaser clips for that ol' Supreme Commander 2:
Supreme Commander 2 - AC1000 Gunship Trailer

Ya gotta laugh.

If they bring a mariachi band I'm sold
- It would be especially appropriate for a horse funeral were the animal was used to bring contraband over the Sierra Morena or was called Cielito Lindo
  
  I just want mariachi band to play Y Los Cielos on the other side of the door when I'm trying to squeeze out a really tough one, but that would be rude to them and those years are past.

Where is the catering in this thread?

I would love for their to be a town somewhere where this was a very sensible sign and not humor at all.

Do they provide written material on 'How to beat a dead horse'?
Maybe a dummies guide?

69 comments