Bit idea. Report literal bears for spying.

Go onto your local Western govt feds' contact us form, and start by saying you'd like to report a suspected foreign spy. At the beginning, make it sound like believable suspicions about someone who works for a zoo, but as the report goes on, have it slowly unravel that who you are trying to report is in fact the panda bears on loan from China as spying for their home country, or the grizzly bears as spying for Russia (or Canada if you wanna get really absurd with it).