Why did the snowman look through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!
Why don't koalas count as bears?
They don't have the right koalafications!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Why did the man put his money in the blender?
Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
Why did the shoe go to school?
Because it wanted to be a sneaker!
Why was the soccer field always wet?
Because the players kept dribbling on it!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work!
What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A bagel!
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to go with him!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why was the broom late for work?
It swept in!
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
Because they work on so many levels!
Why did the bird get a ticket?
Because it was caught tweeting on its phone!
Why did the chicken go to the gym?
To work on its pecks!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
Why don’t calculators make good friends?
Because they’re always calculating and never stop to listen!
How did the barber win the race?
He knew all the short cuts!
Why did the chef quit?
He couldn't make enough dough!
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it knew it wasn't less than or greater than anyone else!