i feel so alone. i don't want to be alone. i think of her every day - every hour, i even wake up thinking of her. she takes hours to answer my texts. often over 12 hours, sometimes over 24h. she is always my first thought in the morning.

i want to hold her hand, feel her lips on mine. i want to go to sleep with her next to me, and wake up looking at the face of someone i love and who loves me back. i want to travel the world, but not alone or with friends. i want to experience new things, but i want to do it with her.

i've always been more romantically inclined, and i've always dreamed of having a wife (or just a serious life-long relationship; marriage itself is irrelevant) and having kids with her. that has always been the purpose of life to me. everything else feels meaningless without a romantic partner to experience it with, or with whom to talk about it. but more specifically, i want her. but i'm still a virgin, i've still never kissed a girl, and i've still never held a girls