Not to be "that guy", but are you 100% certain that's what it was? Did you get a close look at it, like 20 feet away or less?

I would get some 20 lb monofilament fishing line and hang it randomly near the windows.

If I wind up sharing a cell with one of you, I call dibs on the top bunk

lmao this is like saying if I push someone off a cliff, I'm actually innocent because the ground killed them.

I play bagpipes semi-professionally. The overwhelming majority of people do not like bagpipe music, and even if they do, they don't want to hear much about my bagpiping antics. One good thing is that I will never struggle to answer the dreaded "what's one interesting fact about yourself" icebreaker.