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dogerwaul [he/him, they/them]
dogerwaul [he/him, they/them] @ dogerwaul @hexbear.net

mid 30s millennial furry obsessed with music. send me recommendations! i'm some variety of communist and rather radical in my leftism. i'm a skeptic and atheist but not intolerant or arrogantly confident. feel free to hit me up any time if ya like.

Posts
3
Comments
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Joined
4 mo. ago
Music @lemmy.ml
dogerwaul [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net

Best New Music, January 2025

a sampling of my favorite singles this month in no particular order. what were some of your most played songs of January? :D

Mental Health @lemmy.ml
dogerwaul [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net

passively suicidal and exhausted

i hate to add to the posts of mentally unwell users venting their thoughts and detailing their experiences, but i have nowhere else to turn and nobody in my life to talk in depth with. therapists are impossible to secure and the last one told me i’d benefit from an existential specialist but there isn’t one anywhere near me.

every day i wake up i wish i hadn’t. passive suicidal ideation is at an all-time high for me it seems, but i’ve used that phrasing before and they can’t all be the ultimate. however, it feels that strong to me. it’s a powerfully soul crushing sensation. i don’t want to be alive anymore. i want to die. i simply can’t cause it myself, unfortunately.

the things others often say to suicidal people don’t feel significant or relevant enough to keep me here. “think of your loved ones,” “think of the pain you’ll cause,” “think of those who will miss you,” “think of your pets,” etc. well.. i’ll be dead. what the fuck do i care? they’ll all die eventually too and leave s

  • depends on what you mean. the principles which guide my morals only change when presented with significant reason to. i identify as a leftist in the political sense because it is where my beliefs closely align. communism doesn’t own the ideas central to my beliefs, and as i learn more about what it means to be a communist and how that group defines itself, i may find myself at odds with their overall interpretation and implementation of leftism.

    i used to call myself a communist and now i don’t. i wouldn’t say ive become “less” of anything that i previously was when i wore the communist label. one reason i stopped is i simply don’t feel it appropriate to refer to myself as a commie because i don’t put much weight behind what Marx or Engels said in the 1800s as a person living in 2025 and i noticed a lot of modern communists live and breathe for their philosophical analysis.

    but im still the leftist i was prior. if anything i have gotten further left since 2016 lol.

  • it’s already been mentioned in a comment but recycling isn’t nearly as helpful as it was intended to be and often acts like a bandage on a festering wound. we just move non-recyclable plastic from one area to another. there’s no real regulation over the labels used to indicate how to recycle something, so your guidelines are often wrong. idk it just seems like we pushed for Americans to recycle and then did absolutely no follow-up on how that was going and whether it was working or not.

  • why the hell would anyone willingly live in Florida

  • the constitution doesn’t matter anymore. i mean, honestly, i think the document is irrelevant and should be disregarded in favor of genuine progress, but members of the oligarchy are ignoring these laws to supplement their own terrible version of reality. they are making their own precedents at the expense of the American people. Trump has shown the country that if someone is powerful enough they can do whatever the fuck they want with the influence they’ve accrued.

  • i’ve been waiting for this strain of bird flu to reach human-to-human transmission. once that happens we are truly fucked. we didn’t handle COVID and the pandemic is still ongoing. people complained about “shut downs” in the US and there was no such thing lol. name a single state that shut down. name a small town! nobody was prevented from traveling, there were merely recommendations and advisories. anyway, bird flu is gonna be bad. i’m very worried.

  • thank you for commiserating. i am sorry you can relate. it seems a lot of us can. yes, budgeting is our next step actually. we are doing it together with my first paycheck.

    edit: i already posted on mutualaid a few days ago lol i would feel scummy and abusive if i posted again so soon, but i appreciate the tip

  • i appreciate your encouragement to rest but i simply cannot. i am the one with money, i have a job now and need to play the game once again. nobody is allowing me to “rest,” it’s all about doing what is necessary to live and not be homeless or without medication. i can’t even handle that. my phone and my car are gone. who knows when i’ll be able to afford payments for either.

  • Comradeship // Freechat @lemmygrad.ml
    dogerwaul [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net

    no one to talk to, feeling like nothing more than a problem

    i couldn't find a community geared towards venting or posting about depression, so i'm coming here to empty my head. sorry in advance if this doesn't fit the comm well. if you're sensitive to depression i'd avoid my post tbh.

    it took me two months to find a job since my last one ended in October. my bills became unmanageable during that time and my phone was shut off. yesterday, on my first day of work, my car was repossessed after i got home. i live with my partner and his mother and they fought about me the other day. i came home early today from work and got into a yelling match with my partner over something stupid. we have been together for 13 years. we know there will be bad and good times, but lately it's been nothing but bad, and i am the cause of a good percentage of it.

    i have several mental illnesses that make it difficult for me to maintain support for myself. i am medicated and have been in and out of therapy. i've even been hospitalized for suicidal ideation. i am

  • i have ADHD and i’m certain there’s a connection.

  • if anything i smarten up. text allows me to organize my thoughts and analyze my word choices. i can say much more and provide more detail over text. when i talk i feel stupid lol.

  • i worry our species is irreversibly doomed. honestly, i feel certain we are yet i refuse to act as though i believe it. if i give in and give up and sit back and wait for the worst to come then i won’t be able to say “i tried” to whichever younger generation asks the rest of us why we did nothing and let the human race go extinct. climate change will likely bring about the end but any number of things could happen before then, and capitalism will have spearheaded all of them.

  • wow lol. this doesn’t surprise me at all. i had a gut feeling about Honey but couldn’t have guessed it was this insane.

  • i would reject a communist group with that kind of mindset. we are in no position to be so focused on strict application of "what communism really is" at the expense of educating others against capitalism. we need to help deprogram and depropagandize the masses. especially in America, the proletariat are largely ignorant and kept that way. someone who is willing to apply leftist politics to their personal belief system should be seen as a potential ally. encourage those people to continue to think and expand their knowledge. class consciousness is not going to form if we means test the collective.

  • someone’s never been told to not talk to cops.

  • another example of how sexual minorities are still targeted in the US and are at risk of assault and death. i hope the two men who were victimized are supported by their community and loved ones. it makes me so angry that there are people out there who think gays are “normalized” because same-sex marriage is legal. far from it lol. we are still thought of as immoral and disgusting by tens of millions.

  • they mentioned “meeting friends” twice in a follow up comment so you know they really have friends.

  • i’m in the US and am becoming increasingly worried about privacy online (as if i needed more reasons). as a leftist, i believe it will become even more difficult to organize in the near future and want to protect myself as much as possible. i know nothing can truly assure me my information won’t be compromised but i’m going to try and do what i can to limit the possibility. also, dealing with reddit, twitter, and bluesky have convinced me to abandon popular social media. i don’t even like using YouTube.

    i want to belong to a community of likeminded people who understand the seriousness of privacy and the reality of potential revolution in the US.

  • i can’t see if they suspect where she caught it from or not. anyone know?

  • it really is little more than utter exploitation in the long term even if an obscenely wealthy person started off “honestly.” you don’t become a massively successful businessman in a capitalist society without playing their game, so eventually you will be the same as the scum who you sucked up to and worked for. they all abandon any principles they once had in favor of profit and power. it’s an endless game for them, always moving ahead.