She does indeed have many blocks in this regard, and that's something we talked through extensively, although it's not always easy. She's willing to have this conversation, but it takes a lot of time to unlearn unhealthy expectations she has formed - including, yes, a desire to please me over herself.
Interestingly, right between this post and your response, we might have (hopefully) found one thing that breaks the ice, so to speak. I'll see if it can be used to open some more secrets of her deeply buried sexuality...without overstepping much, of course.
But it marks a first time in our long-standing relationship that some key could have been found.
True; and Jesus Christ, 2-5 times a day is too much even for me lol
We're working out the options, but the problem is I need to know my partner is genuinely enthusiastic, which is hard when the difference in libido is so big.
But there are attempts on both sides to bridge the gap. I appreciate her efforts and communication.
Though I'm very worried about the fact that such a switch often comes as a slippery slope. It sure takes a LOT of communication and reassurance to get going, and if something isn't done just right, it can collapse the relationship altogether, rotting mutual trust. The anxiety about this alone may actually ruin any sort of practical realization on my end.
Besides, I'm not sure I can find all that many people so sexy in the first place. There are things I want to try which are not possible with her, like, the simplest of things, trying an actual dick, but I'd be hard pressed to find someone I'd be horny enough for. With all my drive, I'm quite sexually loyal, it seems.
While not having sex regularly may indeed be a sort of neglect for the powerful love language, forcing yourself to have it rings of abuse.
Besides, I simply don't enjoy it if my partner is not enthusiastic - and I know when she isn't as she tried this before.
This is pretty much why I look into options on how to improve things on either side.
As per monogamy - I feel that to most this is not a matter of limitation per se, but something about feeling special, being the only person allowed to something sacred. And from that perspective, I love the fact she's monogamous and respect that she expects the same for me. While she may not be the most sexually active partner on the planet, she still enjoys knowing it's her who gets the prize.
Just because she doesn’t need it or think about it doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy it when it happens
True! She does enjoy actual sex, but often finds it hard to initiate, to get to that edge after which primal takes over.
We do have a lot of communication, and I make sure to share love without always preying on her lol. Though it gets complicated sometimes - regardless of her drive.
I also focus on her pleasure and reduce her anxieties about the receptive role as she often looked at sex as a sort of chore to please the man.
Actually, I am the male partner, but it's a kind consideration in your part :)
I'm just trying to look at it from neutral grounds, and understand that as much as her drive is very slow to me, it is equally overwhelming to her, and we shared our concerns on the matter.
I did try other options, friends with benefits and stuff, but nothing actually compares to me, not even close, with the partner who intimately knows me, cares about me on all levels, and knows of all the things that turn me on.
Besides, sex in relationships is a continuation of a deeper feeling, a way to express love and a special kind of gentleness. Yeah, I'd say sex is very romantic to me.
But nothing bad with other options if you're into it! Monogamous folks are often portrayed as boring puritans who tell people what to do, so I'll stress that - you do you, but my drive works this way. And boy can monogamous sex get kinky...
She does indeed have many blocks in this regard, and that's something we talked through extensively, although it's not always easy. She's willing to have this conversation, but it takes a lot of time to unlearn unhealthy expectations she has formed - including, yes, a desire to please me over herself.
Interestingly, right between this post and your response, we might have (hopefully) found one thing that breaks the ice, so to speak. I'll see if it can be used to open some more secrets of her deeply buried sexuality...without overstepping much, of course.
But it marks a first time in our long-standing relationship that some key could have been found.