Hi. I’m a Christian Polish (and Dutch) man (20M) who’s been outright terrible for years. I, like other people I’ve known, have been rather traditional. Patriotic and bigoted, you know the type. However, there was one thing I always thought was wrong with me: I’m attracted to men.

I always kind of liked this one man, my friend Greg, platonically and eventually romantically, as much as I hated to admit it.

I really liked him since we started to talk when we were 15. I saw him as a guy I could rely on. Greg is smart, funny, sweet, amazing really. I clung to him. He was my best friend. In fact, he was the one who helped me discover I liked men.

I’m nothing compared to him and I never will be much.

I’ve tried getting close to Greg. I tell him how smart he is, he lies back that I’m as smart as he is. I told him we should live together one day.

But I have mental health issues. I push people away and don’t think I’m good enough to have them.

Quite recently, Greg has shown some in