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Libb

@ Libb @piefed.social

Posts

12
Comments

1076
Joined

9 mo. ago

A 50-something French dude that's old enough to think blogs are still cool, if not cooler than ever. I also like to write and to sketch.

Moderating

Fediverse piefed.social

16h ago

Is it bad to have a male best friend when you’re in a relationship?
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Libb @piefed.social 16h ago
My boyfriend doesn’t care about it, but he still says that my best friend is just “waiting for his turn with me.”
'Wrong' or 'not wrong' that is 'moral' and I don't think moral means much in a couple (edit: moral is a church thing, or maybe a tribunal one). Moral also puts you at risk of seeing yourself in the eyes of your partner (or them seeing themselves in your eyes) as 'the bad guy', or worse, which certainly will not help solve any doubt or issue you might have. Last, moral can prevent you you from asking yourself the right (and somewhat very simple) question that can help you feel better regarding that 'issue': is it something you're fine with? You both, I mean. To make it clear:
Would you/Do you care if your boyfriend has a girl best friend with whom he likes to spend as much time as possible, and share everything, even the most personal?
If that girl best friend existed, would you think she too is waiting for her turn to be with him?
Honestly answering those two questions can help you have a better understanding of what your partner may feel.
Since you wanted to know our personal opinions on the question of (other gender) friendship, here are my 2 cents... in two points:
My spouse and I are certainly not teenagers anymore as we're both nearing our 60s. We have also been together for close to 30 years and counting. We still meet people of various genders and we both have friends the other is not that happy with. without any issue.Because we also quickly realized being in a couple should not mean doing everything together, spending all our time together, having the same ideas, desires, and so on. Contrary to what Plato told us, we're not one my spouse and I. We're two different persons that enjoy being together while having many opposing views and tastes. It's just that we value our relationship enough to always be more willing to make things work between us even when it's not easy, than to just part ways each time we don't agree on something ;)
Sincere friendship is rare and precious. It is at least as rare and precious as sincere love. And it certainly is a lot more important than sex, even when it's great.

18h ago

In the instances that eliminated down votes, how did it change your posts and comments?

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Libb @piefed.social 18h ago

I don't care about votes myself, but:

I think people should be allowed to vote, up or down, freely, if that is what they want to do.
People should also be allowed to not have to see votes or be bothered with it (my own choice).
In summary: I think it's at the individual level, not at the instance level such decisions should be made. The only task of the instance being to provide the tools for the users to apply said decision as simply as possible, and to protect those users from any abuse of the system.

19h ago

What is your opinion on websites blocking visitors from specific countries (geoblocking) for personal or political reasons?

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Libb @piefed.social 19h ago

Double post, wtf?

2d ago

Piefed's Anonymous Voting situation.

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

Once again, thank you very much. I just did that it's working nice :)

For anyone curious, here is what it looks like now:

2d ago

Have you ever thought about deleting your account?

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

because people analyzing my behavior and accusing me of things has started to get to me.

Why bother?

I’m wondering if you’ve ever felt something similar.

Most certainly: as an old dude that has been online since the mid-80s, I've had more than a few opportunities. 1) I learned to not care about perfect stranger's opinion about my person. 2) I also learned to not 'play' with strangers (not saying you are, how would I known, but if you do that may not be the smartest thing to do if you're interested in having interesting exchanges and discussions).

But I think I might delete my account and everything,

That's the nice thing about freedom: if that's what you want to do, by all means do it. Just, maybe, take a moment to decide beforehand if that's really what you want to do or if it's just some emotional reaction angry to something that happened. In the later case it may not be worth deleting your account ;)

2d ago

Piefed's Anonymous Voting situation.

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

Thx a lot. I had never noticed this feature.

I will not remove all up/downvote a I think it's worth being able to upvote useful/enriching comment (like yours) but know I have an option to consider and explore: could I remove just the displayed total of upvotes/downvotes (that part I really don't care about) and maybe the 'Attitude' stats displayed under my profile. Thx again :)

2d ago

Piefed's Anonymous Voting situation.

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

Thx, I will look at that :)

is this something to add (somewhere) in the browser or to use in an extension like uBO?

2d ago

Boris Vian - La Java des bombes atomiques

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

Je me souviens, début des années 80 j'écoutais ses chansons en boucle (et d'autres, dans le même esprit) et je me disais que moi aussi je deviendrais auteur de chansons. Quelques années plus tard, je ne suis pas devenu auteur de chansons (j'ai trouvé autre chose à faire) mais je reste un très grand amateur des textes de Vian.

Merci ;)

2d ago

What are some hugely important music albums?

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

Album doesn't mean much to me I'm afraid. I mean an opera (which literally means 'a work') could be considered an album? What about a symphony (which could means 'a body of (harmonious) sounds')? And what about all tho the other types of music?

They were not released as 'albums' (no disc players, back then) but they were released as a coherent ensemble one was expected to listen to as a whole, in a certain order. And they were released as printed editions too as, back then, owning music sheets was the equivalent of what purchasing albums is/was to us: people would buy them in order to be able to read the score and to play it by themselves or with friends ;)

2d ago

[Lundi lecture] 📖 Qu'avez-vous lu cette semaine ?

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

Daniel Halévy "Essai sur l'accélération de l'histoire".

C'est la réédition de 2026 de ce court mais fascinant texte de 1948. 160 pages, aux Belles Lettres.

Dans sa préface à la seconde édition (1961) l'auteur se défend d'avoir voulu faire ça mais c'est presque impossible de ne pas se dire qu'il a tenté aussi de faire une esquisse des grands évènements dans l'histoire de l’humanité du point de vue Occidental… Mon avis, c’est qu’il y a plutôt bien réussi mais pas sans potentiellement susciter des polémiques.

C’est inévitable, surtout qu’il ne cache ni préférences ni dédains, et ça serait d’autant moins évitable aujourd'hui où le simple fait d'oser dire qu'on aime pas une chose ou une personne, ou même le choix d'utiliser une grammaire plutôt qu'une autre, fait de vous un ennemi à lyncher publiquement. Mais ça Halévy n'y peut rien. C'est notre problème à nous et c’est hélas un des traits spécifiques qui restera de notre époque, ça et notre joyeux sabordage de toute idée de démocratie et de citoyenneté souveraines sur l’autel de nos nouveaux Dieux (technologie et profit, loué soient leurs noms). Un des traits de notre époque, donc, qui ne laissera pas de nous l'image la plus flatteuse qui soit : notre enthousiasme à vouloir effacer de la surface du monde toute personne qui ne partage pas notre vision du monde et nos valeurs. Bref, ça c’est pas Halévy le problème, c’est nous. Mais ça risque d’impacter la façon dont on le lit.

C'est une lecture stimulante. Et pas seulement pour les passionnés d'histoire. Au contraire, j'aurais même tendance à penser qu'il faudrait le mettre entre les mains de lecteurs qui n'ont pas tellement d’intérêt pour l’histoire car, à sa manière, Halévy pourrait bien réussir à stimuler leur curiosité (ou alors un tel agacement face à ses affirmations tranchées… et tranchantes) et donc leur donner le désir d'en savoir plus sur telle ou telle période/changement/évènement. Surtout, encore une fois, que c’est un texte très court.

Hésitez pas à demander à votre bibliothèque publique, s’ils ne l’ont pas déjà, s’ils ne peuvent pas l’acheter comme ça il sera dispo pour plus de monde ;)

2d ago

I hate how pedantic people online will get all over that my grammar isn't great.

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Libb @piefed.social 2d ago

100%

3d ago

I hate how pedantic people online will get all over that my grammar isn't great.

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

Thx, edited. And, nope, I don't block for that kind of interactions, quite the contrary ;)

3d ago

What are some hugely important music albums?

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

Any specific era? I mean, I'm mostly into classical music and I would consider quite a few of those old pieces... hugely important, to say the least: much more meaningful than many of the more recent productions. But, even though I've a much more limited understanding of it, I also consider some more recent and even a few contemporary artists... hugely important ;)

3d ago

I hate how pedantic people online will get all over that my grammar isn't great.

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

As long as it is readable, it shouldn’t matter if it not 100% perfect.

+1 to your two clauses.

I will confess, I’m not that great at grammar.

Neither am I. Even less so when I post in English (which I mostly do) instead of my native French. Not that I'm that better with French :p

Otherwise, I just felt kinda bullied and mocked for having bad grammar skills

The thing is that you should focus on the things and people that matter to you. And ignore the others.

There are 8 billion people on the planet. Of those, I know a few dozens personally. And of those few dozens only a handful of them I care about what they think about me. The 8 billions remaining? Well, I wish them the very best but I will not act differently in the hope of maybe please them. No hard feelings ;)

The only difference is that I would just block them which I know is little petty

I don't think it is.

The blocking feature is one I very regularly use and would probably use Piefed a lot less if it was not for it. I'm not spending my time here to read shit/Low effort content and certainly not to be bothered by people whose obvious desire would to trigger some emotional reaction on my part.

So, when I spot such a person, I block them. End of the drama. A bit like I decide who I let in at my own place, I filter out who I do not want to be forced to read. Exactly like I filter my home feed to 'Subscribed' only and I subscribe only to selected communities whose content I know very seldom produce turd content ;)

My patience is thin and I just get sick of having people in my life just getting angry at me as well as I feel like a punchline to a joke.

You can't win if you want the world/people to change and act/be like you want them to. What you can learn to do instead is to ignore the things and persons you can't act upon and focus on what you can act upon.

3d ago

Piefed's Anonymous Voting situation.

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

BTW I completely hide vote counts on posts, I use the voyager frontend for this

I only browse on my PC using the browser and I can't find any option to hide those. I barely use my phone to be honest and refuse to use any social platform on it (privacy concerns).

3d ago

What made you choose your Fediverse Instance?

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

It's easy to give it a try and decide if it's worth changing (I've done it and even though it's great to be able to do that, it's far from being complete and painless (one may not like losing all their previous posts/comments when changing instance).

I just checked I switched from Lemmy 9 months ago and and I've yet to find a reason to go see elsewhere. There things I don't like as much as others but they're easy to ignore ;)

3d ago

Piefed's Anonymous Voting situation.

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

Oh, thx for the clarification (and feel free to ignore my own noise, then).

Never heard of that. What is it used for?

3d ago

Piefed's Anonymous Voting situation.

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

Piefed currently has anonymous — or more accurately, pseudonymous, voting.

You mean up/downvotes?

My wish is that a user should have the option to deactivate votes for themselves and not see any at all.

I don't care to see my Account ‘Attitude’ counter move up or down, but i don’t have the option to not see it. And why should I bother? I don’t participate in a popularity contest, right? When I post it is to ask questions and to share ideas and infos with other users. For that purpose I care a lot more about reading their reasoning for (not) liking a message of mine, or why they think what I said is not correct. Their comment can help enrich the discussion or help realize I was indeed wrong in what I said.

That being said, I also know posting an actual reply/comment requires a lot more efforts than voting. A lot of extra work many users are not willing to put in. So, wanting piefed to grow, I’m fine with votes being a thing ;)

However, while it works great to hide votes from casual users, the current system is trivially easy to correlate accounts to their voting profiles

You mean realize that someone could trace my own up/downvotes patterns?

Mine is easy to spot: I don't use votes much and use it mostly to promote content that I consider useful/enriching. I don’t vote as a way to say ‘I agree’, or 'I disagree' and I seldom downvote... most of those because the poster was not contributing at all to the discussion, wasting our time.

I don’t care if anyone thinks it's worth 'spying' on my votes: be my guest, I suppose. Just, maybe, try to remember this:

we all get one single life on this planet. Maybe there are more interesting things to do with the limited time we have?
if you really want to know something (not personal) about me, maybe just ask me? It may be much simpler ;)

I’m curious to see if other users consider what you described an issue and if anyone else, like, would like it to be able to complete;y ignore the voting mechanism?

Edit: clarifications

3d ago

The Counter-Intuitive Path to Happiness: Why Mark Manson Says You Need to Care Less, Not More

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Libb @piefed.social 3d ago

Did not read (nothing personal, I'm just tired of Substack) but is it counterintuitive to suggest people should care less if they want to be happy or, more probable, is my English once again lacking and I just don't get it?