It’s fine, I can easily search 8chan and find greentexts an order of magnitude more deranged. This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, thankfully/unfortunately
Anon contracts herpes
undefined
>Get BJ on prom night >Week later massive red spot on cock >Herpes >Fuck >doctor say this shit is uncurable >No woman will want me >Struggle with shame and depression >Lose all interest in sex >Go years without being with a woman >Finally regain some self confidence >Brainwave.exe >Need woman who already has the disease >Find old hooker on craigslist >Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo >Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her >Call her up >Explain I have herpes >Tell her I presume she has it too >Silence >Then she hangs up I dont know where to go from here bros
A mutualist relationship with the most terrifyingly powerful and ubiquitous creature in all of existence is a net positive. Mitochondria likely doesn’t mind, for similar reasons.
I’m a bit confused, why is resharing a greentext, a medium that survived due to resharing, peculiar?
Huh, that is literally what Germany did. Gross. I did not enjoy saying that.
Wait, wouldn’t the multiplayer essentially be unreal tournament, but with less diversity? Never played doom’s online, so I have no clue.
In the terminally internet-bound, this has led to some consternation.
where we putting these?
The site seems legit enough. Honestly a flip of a coin whether this is a scam or not, given tariff troubles. But a 50/50 shot is far higher than I’d like.
where we putting these?
They wont respond. Partly because this is spam and partly because they were banned.
Asylum-seeker sent to Salvadoran mega-prison over autism awareness tattoo
No, it was just racism. Everything beyond that was just pretext. Aesop covered this a couple of years ago.
Objective and indisputable truth.
How’d you spread the sauce so evenly? I usually end up making twice the sauce that I need to get such a proper distribution.
▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇
▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ whereupon the room exploded in agreement that Zuckerberg’s bloodstained hands delivered the killing stroke. “He’s still smiling. He can’t even hide it.” ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇the▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇
The odd thing about garlic fingers is that it smells nothing like garlic. Always takes me two attempts to figure it out
False, ET was a masterpiece. Next fabrication?
As their chokers rub against one another, the pair moaned as their underwear sagged with liquid. “Fuck” one breathes into the other’s ear. “Fuck, you cut an artery. Fuck, fuck, I’m already getting cold. Please, no, not like this. Dear god, no, no, not like this. There was so much. Fuhh.“ Her voice terminates with a groan and her body goes slack upon the linoleum
Seriously. Spiky chokers can HURT. Do not recommend keeping them on during. -5/10 experience
Name one game produced in the 80s that wasn’t a masterpiece. I’ll wait.
That’s adorable! The knitted sweater, not the rape fantasy
Which- why would they believe themselves to be the pinnacle of humanity. Head to any hospital to find like 3 doctors who can run on an hour of sleep in 2 weeks, memorize information near photographically, constantly solve puzzles of terrifying difficulty, run marathons in their spare time, and look like models.
So tasty that she had to get at the residuals
So if I understand you correctly, if I remove my lungs, I’m a bee? My aunt had lung cancer, so they’ll probably kill me, anyway. I’ll report back on the results.
Anon begs for a handy
ANON NOOOO
WE CANT DO THAT UNLESS WE ARE MARRIED
PLEASE MIKU! JUST GRAB MY HAND! I'M GONNA FALL
Reddit is scared
“There doesn’t seem to be anything here”
Reddit search pulls in the most arbitrary posts when given a single keyword, even deleted comments remain indexed to the post. But they somehow have nothing about lemmy. That seems suspect, considering search isn’t otherwise broken.
Edit: getting results for lemmy now? Did I happen to search within the 10 second window where search was broken? That feels unlikely
Reddit’s vibe has suddenly changed yet again
Now Reddit’s not just promoting ragebait and AI generated stories, but divisive conservative rhetoric. Anyone else notice the non-political subreddits spontaneously hosting a population of chuds and propagandists where a few weeks ago they weren’t tolerated?
Has reddit changed the algorithm? Has some nation begun its bot operation? Has reddit deployed bots at musk’s behest? Has twitter sent its worst users to brigade? (All of twitter’s users are its worst users) I don’t know, but the effect is striking. All I’m certain about is that I’m avoiding reddit even harder now.
I hope you all ruleize that storage isn’t free and xposting is easier
Lemmings living in red states, how’re you doing?
Since the upgrade, has anyone else been unable to change post/comment/modlog sorting options?
Edit: this issue also exists on other instances on 0.19.5, or newer, on my browser
Looking for a specific channel on YouTube
Long shot but I hope someone might know. The channel hosts parodies of superheroes and superhero tropes through the medium of motion comics and is characterized by its dry humor and sarcasm, reminiscent of the channel “How it Should Have Ended.” Videos often involved a competent woman parody of Superman acting alongside their equivalent of the justice league.
The channel, despite not broadly advertising this fact, hosts exclusively English translations of their main channel’s videos. (Original channel may be in Portuguese, Spanish, another language common in south America?) While the English translation channel might have stopped posting ~7 years ago, the main channel would have continued posting content for a year or more.
Really, I’m looking for a specific video wherein a spy (possibly a parody of black widow but I can’t recall) is looking to complete their mission while their operator ceaselessly suggests additional members for their team, lampshading the “spy by accident” genr
The interior of your house is hot, the exterior cool. What would the most efficient orientation be for a box fan? Pushing hot air out of a window or pulling cool air in through it? (Solved)*
Secondarily, should the fan be outside or inside the window?
Asking for a friend. (Me, help. I can’t remember physics, it’s too goddamn hot)
Edit: I’ve opened all the windows and set up a fan a short distance from the window pointing out and it’s reduced the temperature to near-tolerable levels. Unfortunately, venting through the attic was a no-go but moving things aside might make it an option next time. Thank you all, I appreciate the help!
A dog’s life
[panel 1: A small, bespectacled man sitting at a table takes a bite of pancake. Their glass is filled with golden liquid, matching the color of the dog staring over the edge of their table. Their eyes lock.]
[panel 2: the dog’s tail shifts into overdrive and its eyes pleadingly grow to the size of saucers.]
[panel 3: the man grins and hoists a pancake above their canine companion. Its eyebrows arch and body quivers.]
[panel 4: the man releases the pancake and it stops with a soft plop atop the dog’s head.]
[panel 5: the dog searchingly turns toward the noise, pancake still resting between its eyes.]
[panel 6: the dog’s brows lift in grief as it turns right, continuing to helplessly investigate the mystery of the missing pancake.]
Patterned clothes are less interesting than textured clothes
I rarely find myself taking a second look at a piece of clothing whose only notable quality is a properly applied shade or hue. The main draw in every piece of compelling apparel is its texture. Does it look sheer? Soft? Stiff? The emotion evoked by a slogan, illustration, or pattern is nearly always superseded or at least altered by apparent textural context. A bad Christmas long sleeve or a knitted “granny’s little cumstain” sweater would elicit vastly different reactions compared to their more conventional cousins.
All of that is to say that texture is the end-all for clothes. It is the medium through which your message is broadcasted. Tones and shapes are transient, texture is forever.
Love me… love me not
[panel 1: a cartoonishly drawn child wearing a pink t-shirt and black spandex shorts sits on a grassy hillside, nearly resting their back against the verdant scene. They put their weight on their elbow and pluck a flower from the grass with a smile.]
[panel 2: they lean over the flower and, whilst plucking petals, say “Loves me… Loves me not… Loves me… Loves me not…”
[panel 3: they point at the flower and focus their attention further.]
[panel 4: their finger wags at the petals as they enumerate and whisper “Loves me… Loves me not.]
[panel 5: they sit up and glance about to see if anyone is watching]
[panel 6: they simultaneously tear off two leaves and say “Loves me…”]
[panel 7: the flower shouts at the now sobbing child, “HEY, HEY, HEY. NO CHEATING! YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU’RE NOT LOVED!”]
Timeless
[panel 1: a large dodo approaches a clean, well dressed vagrant youth sat beside a well fashioned wood and stone building. The youth warily guards a bag holding their belongings and the stick they use to travel with it. The dodo asks “Pardon me, do you have the time?” and the youth replies “yes, it’s -“]
[panel 2: the dodo exclaims “You have the time!”]
[panel 3: a quartet of dodos appear and excitedly chatter over one another: “He has the time.” “The time! he has it!” “At long last! Our desperate search is at an end! The time has been found!”]
[panel 4: they lean in amongst one another and whisper “PSSHHWSSSSPTT SSHSSHHPSSTT”]
[panel 5: the group approaches the youth and asks “Will you… give us the time?” And the youth replies “It’s nine fifteen.” The dodos exclaim “AAAAAHHH! NOW WE HAVE THE TIME!”]
When god gives you lemons
[description: the painting “the creation of Adam,” but Adam is a cat repeatedly, and well deservedly, bapping god’s outstretched arm]