No, in Danish the "half five" part means the same as "half past 4" on the clock: 4.5.

Then the part that most people omit nowadays, sindstyvende, means times 20.

(Half past 4) times 20 = 90.

"My daughter, I am from a distant planet. The vague differences in hue in the superficial layer of the native species is of no interest to me. Quit pestering me."

We all think we're living like we're 18, until you actually come across an 18 year old and remember how awkward and awful it actually was.

But, I digress, 28 going on 29 feels an awful lot like any other age did, but with more frequent back pain. My birthday is coming up and I legitimately have pokemon cards and a Gameboy on my wishlist lol.

Yeah, those are the actual lyrics. It's "all the thoughts in my head" that's misheard.

You don't have to put a label on yourself. Like what you like. Everything is a spectrum, anyway. It is totally fair to enjoy looking at a woman in a way that feels a little more than heterosexual, and it doesn't have to mean you have to label those feelings as neither romantic or sexual attraction. I am just saying this to advocate for loving yourself the way you are, I'm not sure if you need to hear it specifically :D

I think the "I'm baby" is the result of using voice to text while she's in the car on the way home. I don't think she's crafting messages in a way usual of anyone. She is spending the minimum amount of time on the phone to let her daughter know she has been heard, then focusing the rest of her energy on getting back there asap.

Fold your phone in to a paper plane to enter airplane mode. It won't stop you from receiving calls, but it will look badass when your $2000 Samsung phone makes it several feet down the cul-de-sac

In order to call your mom, you have to:

Pick a color

Pick a number

Pick a number

Pick a number

No, not that number, Nora just did that and it's not funny to get the same one twice

Okay, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... Flips open page

You're a turd

Wanna try again?

For what it's worth, I am hereby sending you the official signal that you should absolutely exist, that you have every right to be yourself, and that your continued existence is important and meaningful for yourself and others in similar situations especially. I hope you will forever be gifted with the courage to be yourself, even when the world is challenging you on it.

Live at the legendary venue, LTS. Pretty sure that's the backstage where Axl Rose came up with Sweet Child O Mine or something.

In fairness, I can see why he might think this was a music CD

It wasn't just real enough. The game contained an actual first aid learning tool, and test, which you had to pass in order to advance in the game. So anyone who learned it and learned to play medic got an actual first aid course by the US military for free.

This is not meant to endorse anything one way or the other, I am just a video game nerd who thinks that America's Army is a very interesting oddity.

My grandma always told of a legendary man in my hometown, who would always take his horse to the local bar in the 1950s. When he got too drunk and fell asleep, the other patrons would carry him outside and sling him sideways over the horse, which would then trot off in to the night, supposedly delivering him safely at home.

I know that's not very scientific evidence, but I always took it to be true. Maybe someone can concur.

I think I spilled a little bit in my underpants

You know that bastard is already corrupted. When the connection is cut off dirty like that, there is no salvaging it.

I can fit the same amount in my jacket pockets as fits in one bag of groceries. I am literally saving money by wearing a jacket for men lol

This made me feel kind of hopeful for some reason. Also, nice foo fighters reference

I was born in 96. My first console generation was PSX and GBC, followed by GBA and PS2. I think your gf just wasn't in to gaming when she was little.

Assistant Post Flight Fluffer