My Experience with Fake Friends (for anyone who needs this or can relate)

Story:

I posted about this before, but now I'm going to go over how I reacted and how it impacted me.

Long story short, in 2021, I was 12-13 years old. I was in eighth grade (I said seventh before, forgetting I skipped kindergarten) and I was sort of "popular". The girls I will talk about were Beatrice, the Queen Bee, her best friend Camilla, and her other best friends Helen, Samantha, and Gabrielle. Helen also had a friend from a different school, "Ellie".

Beatrice and the girls, at first, acted nice to me when I didn't have a sense of belonging, since I was outcast and really introverted. I grew more confident with friends.

Beatrice was usually nice, except in sports. She would throw the ball at my face, make fun of me for not playing on a team like she did, make fun of me for not "being good" at volleyball because I didn't play it often, and told me I existed to suck. It made me not want to play with her, but she insisted I play with her and called me a "Debbie Downer" when I didn't.

Then she would act like it never happened.

She would act super dry at one point in eighth grade, and would secretly get mad if I texted her, but she never told me she was mad at me. I eventually asked her if we were even friends and told her I was getting depressed because she was being so dry and would occasionally be rude if I messaged her. She also wouldn't look at any of the videos I sent her. She eventually said "No, we're probably not friends LOL" and told me because I was such an annoying brat, I should stop texting her.

We made up later, and she admitted to me that she and the girls only pretended to be my friend because they pitied me.

They also made fun of me behind my back for being autistic and ADHD and reduced my personality to only being neurodivergent too. That's how they viewed me.

There was this one girl who also skipped a grade, so she was 12-13 too like I was. I'll call her Samantha. Samantha treated me like a small child or an animal, calling me an "innocent naive baby" and such along with Beatrice, who joined in. They also got "surprised" when I said something like my opinion and they would be "shocked" because I "said something smart".

I remember one time, Beatrice said Samantha was upset. Since she was my friend, I tried to comfort her and she said "NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. SERIOUSLY. YOU'RE JUST AN ANNOYING ASSHOLE THAT PEOPLE PRETEND TO FEEL BAD FOR."

That made me cry and she proceeded to talk behind my back to Beatrice. I never got an apology.

Then, there was Helen, my crush. She was my best friend from sixth grade, and I suddenly found her pretty one night and couldn't stop dreaming or thinking about her. She was honestly my bi/lesbian awakening, I think.

She would switch between being kind and loving, even flirting with me, saying we should get married, and calling me her husband/hubby, to rejecting everything I said or did but if someone else did the same thing, agreeing and liking it. She would also snap at me and be super rude and would refuse to touch anything I touched.

One day, on a field trip, multiple middle schools went to this college. Helen saw her friend from Middle School B, Ellie. Middle School B is what I'll call Ellie's school, ours is A.

I ran up to say "Hi" to Ellie and Helen, but they ran away as soon as I did, so I left them alone. Later, towards the end, we were standing in line. Ellie said bye to Helen and went to her school's line. I said "Hi" again, but she stomped away and told Beatrice something, and when Beatrice messaged me, it was apparently that I was a creepy stalker and she went on to say that she didn't like when I walked up to them or said hi to them despite us being friends and them being fine with the other girls doing it.

The other friend, Gabrielle, was talking to the girl Camilla one day. I walked up to them and asked if I could join the conversation. Camilla, since it was lunch, said she just needed to go back to her table but said hi to me. Gabrielle, on the other hand, blocked all my socials and later proceeded to try and find my location and information about me at every minute, even getting alts to message my friends about me and follow them. She sent me threats, and told me I was a stalker like Helen said and to never speak to her again or she’d beat me up.

Reaction: I highkey was dreading every time I had to go to school, but they were my only friends so I stuck around with them until I decided to be friends with the special education kids in high school and not the gossipy bunch.

I became extremely angry at them, unforgiving, and depressed, thinking of them as evil, cruel, and thinking I'd never forgive them. Needless to say, the whole incident still made me distrustful and anxious, but I'm way better than I was. I think about it less, they don't make me want to vomit anymore, and I don't see them as cruel, evil monsters anymore. Just people who chose grossness and cruelty.

Question: So why did they try to be my friends? Was I used?? Can anyone relate? Share your story or response to what I just said in the replies!!