You know that long-awaited update to 1.19? Yeah, let's sneak in some half-baked attempt to kill dupes that literally nobody asked for. Maybe the backlash will get so bad we'll have no choice but to backtrack later.

It sets you on fire and makes any flammable blocks catch fire

They explode when rained on or when they come into contact with water or enter a jungle biome (humidity), and drop bananas when killed

Your worlds start out with normal biomes and climates. But as more and more items are smelted using coal or charcoal, the save’s Overworld dimension will gradually change over time like so:

• Grass in plains biomes will get browner and browner (and eventually die altogether
• Corals in warm ocean biomes start dying
• Rains become shorter and less frequent
• River levels slowly drop
• Snowy mountains become windswept hill biomes and all the snowy taigas become regular taigas (and then burst into flame of course)
• A new weather effect will be added called “heatwave”. During this, all the small water bodies will evaporate, grass and farmland blocks start randomly converting into coarse dirt (rip cpu lol) and you will catch fire if exposed to sunlight without a helmet, much like zombies and skeletons.

The only way to stop all of this is to completely stop using coal or any wood-based fuels, and instead switch to using things like kelp blocks, blaze rods and lava. Once you’ve done that, y

Because those computers have no WINDOWS lmao

If you played on a mac or linux pc and a world had glass panes in it before the update, they will be replaced with a new block called the “BSOD”, which has an aquamarine texture with a sideways sad face on each side. Trying to break or build on this block gives you a beach ball of death followed by a transparent kernel panic screen of death for macs, and a black log screen of death for linux PCs.

And remove apples from the windows and linux versions too

ROLL BACK 1.16!!!!!!!11111!!!1! I FUCKING HATE CHANGE! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE NEW NETHER!!! IT WAS PERFECT AS A CAVERNOUS, ENDLESS MASS OF LAVA AND NETHERRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOHOOHOO NOSTALGIA NOSTALGIA

HERE IS WHY:

Nether wood FUCKING SUCKS because it takes away the challenges of the Nether! If you run out of resources, why face the consequences and make a zillion trips to the Overworld (like we did in the Good Old Days™) when you can just go into those fucking forests and chop wood despite it being impossible to make charcoal from it or use it as fuel NOOOOOOO! Nether stone FUCKING SUCKS because see above!!! Netherite FUCKING SUCKS because:

Its name FUCKING SUCKS Its lavaproof-ness makes lava pools a DUMB DUMB JOKE because why scream at your computer screen and chuck a brick at it in rage when you can just fish out your god tools???/? DIAMOND IS NO LONGER SPECIAL AND IS NOW FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE NETHERITE REPLACED IT DESPITE THE FACT THAT EVERY SINGLE NETHERITE TOOL IN SURVIVA