I've been watching loads of fashion content on YouTube, lately.

Ash Callaghan, mainly, but also other creators, such as James Leung. Both are pretty good, by the way - Ash is a bit of a hater, which seemingly turns some people off, but James comes off as a very wholesome person with measured takes and honest opinions.

I've also been looking at shoes. I have some shoes - 5 that I would consider wearable, 6 if I count my winter boots (which are pretty decent, just not really weather appropriate for some 80-90% of the year) - and it's not that I find that not to be enough, but rather that, well, simply put: 4 of them are falling apart. Mostly at the heel, or, I don't know what it's called. The inner heel? The inside of the shoe that rubs against your Achilles's tendon. That part.

I have two of the same Adidas Run 60s and two of the safe something-something from Decathlon. I've gotten my fair share of wears out of them, I suppose, but I'm finding it tough to replace them. I mean, I can

Got my Kuru Toga and DelGuard today. Used them extensively. Love love loooove the Kuru Toga, and love, though less so, the DelGuard.

Super tired today. Huge blackout, but things turned out fine.

Orpheu is a famous magazine from the early 20th century in Portugal that brought on Modernism to the cultural forefront of the nation. Read the linked Wikipedia article for further information on this.

My parents, being language aficionados, have a really cool edition of the first volume of the magazine. Reading some notes on the pages, I can tell my mom read it and probably studied it, probably sometime in the past 3 decades.

I've decided to read it and analyse the poetry within.

Full disclosure: I haven't looked up any analysis or translations of anything here, so everything is my interpretation and translation. I wouldn't recommend taking what I say at face value, but I thought this would be fun so I'm doing it.

The first section of the magazine is by Mário de Sá-C

My brother is struggling a little with his school. He's almost certainly gonna quit his degree and go for something else.

I'm very happy he's made the decision early, in his first year, rather than being like his older brother and just riding it aaaaall the way out and then regretting it forever.

He's very unmotivated and has terrible habits, like me, and I'm trying to instill some better work ethic in him. It's hard, since that's something I lack, but I hope my words can enact some change in him. Maybe I can try and be an example, though it's hard being that I'm de facto unemployed. We'll see.

Still, it's nice that I can talk to him.

I took a long, hot shower. It's so hot. Not in the sexy way, either; it's genuinely just uncomfortably high in temperature.

Otherwise, good day. :D

Pic related.

I've mentioned this previously, but I've been watching lots of Game Changer, on Dropout. Well, I'm not watching the episodes on Dropout, but quite frankly I might just get to doing that relatively soon.

My favourite episode so far is, by far, the first episode of season 7. That's the latest season. It's simply a masterpiece. I can't stress this enough: if you want to watch something amazing, watch Season 7 Episode 1 of Game Changer. It is beyond great!

This episode features Jacob Wysocki, Lou Wilson, and, of course, Vic Michaelis.

All three are hilarious and incredible performers, incredibly creative people. However, I felt Vic shone (Shined? I think I read somewhere that shined should be wear for shining shoes rather than a shining star... Whatever...) brighter than the others, in my opinion. Vic's just brilliant. Pun.

![Vic Michaelis wearing a squid

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

What to write, what to write...

I'm a little hungry, right now. I've been watching lots of Game Changer (super good, by the way, season 7 is freaking bonkers). HUUUUUH.

Yeah, that's about it. I mean, there's more stuff, but I feel uninclined to write.

Still, I have written.

Today, I had one of the days of all time.

I've decided to start writing with more structure, on paper. I write a lot, but I don't often write with much structure, choosing to write whatever comes to mind at any given time without much order or thought for positioning or, well, structure. It ends up being mostly a word salad or random lists of things.

Mind you, I find this very enjoyable, but I do feel that it lacks a certain... Feel to it. I'm not sure.

I decided to go and write things in a more structured way, today.

I wrote a list of what I did today, roughly, and I came to the realization that I didn't do much! Now, I did know that, beforehand, as I did live this day first-hand, but it still hit me a little.

OK, so, I ate today. I don't even want to write what I ate, but let it be known it wasn't healthy. Calorie-wise, I think it was fine, but it was not what I was supposed to eat, I'll tell you that much.

I played Hearthstone, a little bit, Battlegrounds, specifically. It

I've finally decided to pull the trigger on buying a new mechanical pencil.

Currently, I use a Rotring Tikky, which is their entry-level pencil. It's OK, but it's not very good, in my opinion. I took the clip off because it bothered me, the lead breaks a little too often for my liking (which, admittedly, could also be improved with better lead), and its weird triangular shape is also ugly af. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, if I write for long it does start to hurt a little. It's not that the pencil is particularly uncomfortable, or anything, but it's not particularly comfortable either.

The bottom line, really, is that I know there's much better out there, and I'd like to have that.

However, I can't pick, for the life of me. I need to try it out first, I need to make sure I like this or that feature, this or that design decision... I can't just pull the trigger on a 50€ Rotring 800 because it seems ideal just to have my heart ripped to shreds because, as it turns

I have ventured forth into the darkness once more.

The smell of sulfur burns the back of my throat. The oppressive heat melts the rubber soles of my trainers, every step feels like I'm mucking through pools of mud and grease. The sun is hidden behind noxious clouds, but its blinding light still finds a way through the toxic mist all around me; I can barely see, even covering my eyes with my hands and my arms.

It hurts to breathe. To move. To live.

It hurts.

This must how the Memphis Grizzlies feel while getting their asses handed to them by the OKC Thunder. Rest in Pieces, Taylor Jenkins, you did what you could and they didn't want you. Now, look where they end up. In Hell.

Today, I had a nice talk with my dad. I say "talk," but really it was just him talking... I mostly listened. He talks a lot (and very loudly) about things he's passionate about. I don't think this is a bad thing, by the way, nor do I think our talk was a bad experience --- on the contrary, in fact --- but I did want to pose the question: do teachers speak loudly, in general? Both my parents are teachers, so it's a bit hard for me to tell. I know there's cultures that generally speak louder, I know my dad speaks louder than most, in general, but I can't say if my parents, being teachers, speak even louder so. Most of their friends are teachers, so lots of my friends have been teachers' kids. I've been in academia most of my life. I just don't really have points of comparison, here.

Anyway.

We spoke about his self-hosting system. He has... Well, lots of stuff. I don't know enough to explain everything in this post, but let's just say that he has lots of stuff that he uses to store a bu

It's raining lots, today.

The day started off raining, then it quit during lunchtime, then the pouring returned with a vengeance. The sky is grey and the rest of the atmosphere has seemingly taken the cue to match the dress-code.

I like the sound of the rain, but I do also find it a little weird. It's like the inverse of a skeumorph. The noise reminds me of TV static. That's not like a skeumorph at all, actually... Hopefully you get my meaning.

As I write, this, the rain has mostly let up once more. There's a huge rainbow right outside my window. The wind has also calmed down, a bit, so the eucalyptus are pointing straight up again.

Eucalyptus are great trees for the wind. They have these long and thin leaves that really give the feeling of motion when they're being blown violently to the side. It makes the trees look very cartoonishly crooked.

If the weather stays decent, I'll try to convince my brother to go out for a walk with me.

Honestly, I wish I was a stone.

Specifically, I wish I was a stone at the bottom of a lake in the middle of nowhere.

I feel like it'd be really enjoyable. Nothing ever happens, except when it does! You'd feel the earthquakes, for example. You'd know about the activities of random fish, randomly. I'd reckon that'd be fun.

I think what would make this particularly exciting is the prospect of actually being picked up. Naturally, in this scenario, we're aware of our location and situation. As such, we're aware of the extreme unlikelihood of being picked up by anything sentient. But maybe! MAYBE!

Isn't that cool?!

I think that'd be cool.

Of course, being picked up would be rather annoying, I guess. I mean, we're chilling at the bottom of this lake and then some random human just, what, picks us up? And what?! THROWS US BACK INTO THE LAKE?!

The gall.

But it's one of those things that'd be fun to think about, though it wouldn't actually be fun to experience.

Today, I watched a great video by Shar, on YouTube.

I definitely recommend you check it out!

Shar's channel is really awesome. I love the mix of silly, short videos, and longer videos that delve a bit deeper into the topic at hand. Also, she's really talented! Her art is great, she's a developer, her editing is really cute and bubbly; watching her videos feels like eating cotton candy. Rather, it feels like what I envision eating cotton candy to be like. In truth, I never have a good time eating cotton candy. It's too messy.

I digress. Great videos!!

Oftentimes (glorious word, by the way, "oftentimes"), I find myself strongly enamoured --- read, falling deeply and madly in love --- with random people online. I've come to realize that this is a pretty common phenomenon. I really like Shar's videos, so I can't help but imagine that I'd really like Shar herself. Is this a so-called parasocial relationship?

Perchance; Mayhaps.

This has

Met up with my parents and brother today.

I love my parents and my brother :D

Feeling very happy.

Ate some seafood today, which I love. Feeling very happy about that too. Overall, today was a good day.

Slowly, things get better.

I took the train today. Twice; to and fro. It was so much fun. I love taking the train.

I watched videos about comic books. Those were fun too! I love art and people that make art. I love the process and the end result.

I had a job interview today. It went well. I think I talk too much and keep saying the wrong things all the time, but I hope that I can get it across to people that I really am just trying to get by. I'm just doing what I think is OK to do in a way that I think it's OK to do them in.

I trimmed my pants yesterday. "Trim" as in I cut some loose threads and whatnot; it gets them looking much better, I think, and it's kind of therapeutic, in a way. It's very methodical, I guess; it's the repetitive process of looking for loose threads and snipping them.

I listened to some good music today. I love Megurine Luka very much. The main songs I had on repeat were Black Gold, Depression of Cybernetics, and No Logic. I love love love those s

I haven't been sleeping all too well... As a consequence, I've been terribly tired...

Sometimes I wonder if I should be meaner.

I'm quite mean in my head, often. I think very mean things about others, but I catch myself and correct my thoughts. I say things like "that person is an idiot" (I often used more intense words) but then correct myself to thinking "they probably just misunderstood something." That sort of things. "That person is an asshole" to "that person might be having a bad day."

I feel like that's the right thing to do. There's really no reason to believe that people are bad, there's nothing to gain in doing that and I'd argue there's actually much to lose. I'd argue, but I won't, as that's not the point of this post.

Continuing.

I wonder if it could be better to not do that as much. For example, sometimes people really are just idiotic assholes. Sometimes just idiots, sometimes just assholes, sometimes neither. However, couldn't it be correct to assume it, sometimes?

For example, I think the block button should be used. I'm a big proponent of block

I've been writing some Go (golang) for fun; and it is fun!

I don't get why people say it's "boring" or something. I heard Theo from t3 say that it doesn't make him feel smart --- whatever that means; whatever reason he might want that lol --- but I don't get that at all. It's not boring, it's cool! I LIKE IT!!! GO IS FUN!!

Things are so complicated, sometimes. It's weird to think that everything is just people; things could get fixed if people just did them, if people acted together and swiftly, coordinated.

It's just weird to think about that.