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Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

After that great night's sleep, you can call me Wayne Knight.

Because I'm feeling like a Newman!

Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

What do you call someone who hates the taste of suckers?

A lollygagger.

  • I listened to the audio book around the same time. I remember enjoying it, too, but I also came away thinking Fey was a bit more like Liz Lemon than I would think-- a bit colder and harder than I'd expect.

    Amy Pohler's book, on the other hand, was a joy from beginning to end

  • I don't think it's so much one sketch, but rather based on a few that were a bit overplayed, like Pat, Mango, that fucking "makin' coffee" asshole, Roxbury, etc. Basically, any of the one-note premises that inexplicably returned time and time again.

  • Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    Why was the envelope feeling so confident going into his job interview?

    He was addressed for success!

    Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    My doctor says, "Rick, you're in denial about your diagnosis." But whenever I ask him what it is, he just tells me his favorite seasoning in a stereotypical Italian accent.

    "It's a tumeric."

    Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    One time, on a first date...

    I mentioned that I was a writer.

    She asked, "Nom de plume?"

    I replied, "Once, but the ink tasted terrible."

    Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    I like my beverages to be up with the times.

    That's why I only drink teas that are currant.

    Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    A 68 year old finally left his job of 40 years, but worried he'd soon grow bored, he began a small business retreading wheels with menthol-infused rubber.

    It's his retire-mint plan.

    Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    Being a lawyer is hard.

    Today, I had an arbitration meeting, and when I walked in with a bag full of Big Beef and Cheddars with Horsey sauce, my client fired me!

    Dad Jokes @lemmy.world
    Odigo2020 @lemmy.zip

    What is a biscuit's favorite kind of music?

    Jam bands!