Mark Carney questions why struggling young Canadians not setting up offshore tax havens
OTTAWA - At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted to being genuinely puzzled why more cash-strapped young Canadians aren't using elite asset management firms to maximize their offshore investments.
Mark Carney questions why struggling young Canadians not setting up offshore tax havens
OTTAWA - At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted to being genuinely puzzled why more cash-strapped young Canadians aren't using elite asset management firms to maximize their offshore investments.
Favorite song
[blue, holding a headset that's playing music] I can't wait to listen to my favorite song, the 1940 recording of "SS Military March", it's an all time classic!
[green, shocked at blue] Uhm, dude... Are you listening to nazi music?
[blue, still holding the headset, while the notes coming out of it turn into swastikas] What? Why would you say that? Is this yet another woke attempt at cancelling everything I like based on unfounded allegations?
Favorite song
[blue, holding a headset that's playing music] I can't wait to listen to my favorite song, the 1940 recording of "SS Military March", it's an all time classic!
[green, shocked at blue] Uhm, dude... Are you listening to nazi music?
[blue, still holding the headset, while the notes coming out of it turn into swastikas] What? Why would you say that? Is this yet another woke attempt at cancelling everything I like based on unfounded allegations?
Legalized slurs
cross-posted from: https://jlai.lu/post/18135988
[orange] Okay sure, we did massacre the economy and make ourselves look untrustworthy and unstable, but...
[zoom on orange grinning] We can now say slurs at work without facing consequences
[newspaper clipping] Corporate America embraces a new era of conservatism under Donald Trump. Bankers and financiers say that Trump’s victory has empowered those who felt they had to self-censor or change their language to avoid offending younger colleagues, women, minorities or disabled people. “I feel liberated,” said a top banker. “We can say [r-slur] and ‘pussy’ without the fear of getting cancelled . . . it’s a new dawn.”
[orange, celebrating] Worth it! I see this as an absolute win!
“A Minority Government Will Be A Disaster” Says Coalition Of Four Parties That Hate Each Other | Betoota Advocate
Australia celebrates International Day of Forests by seeing if Blinky Bill can still outrun a bulldozer
The nation has today kicked off a big environmental day in style!
With the International Day of Forests rolling around, Australia has looked to celebrate the occasion in trademark fashion.
With native forest logging still taking place across the Eastern Seaboard and Tassy, Australia is getting into the spirit of the day by seeing if national icon Blinky Bill can still outrun a bulldozer and wood chipper.
“We think it’s the perfect way to celebrate the day,” said a spokesperson for the timber industry.
(this is a few weeks old - International Day of Forests was on the 21st of March)
Legalized slurs
[orange] Okay sure, we did massacre the economy and make ourselves look untrustworthy and unstable, but...
[zoom on orange grinning] We can now say slurs at work without facing consequences
[newspaper clipping] Corporate America embraces a new era of conservatism under Donald Trump. Bankers and financiers say that Trump’s victory has empowered those who felt they had to self-censor or change their language to avoid offending younger colleagues, women, minorities or disabled people. “I feel liberated,” said a top banker. “We can say [r-slur] and ‘pussy’ without the fear of getting cancelled . . . it’s a new dawn.”
[orange, celebrating] Worth it! I see this as an absolute win!
Legalized slurs
[orange] Okay sure, we did massacre the economy and make ourselves look untrustworthy and unstable, but...
[zoom on orange grinning] We can now say slurs at work without facing consequences
[newspaper clipping] Corporate America embraces a new era of conservatism under Donald Trump. Bankers and financiers say that Trump’s victory has empowered those who felt they had to self-censor or change their language to avoid offending younger colleagues, women, minorities or disabled people. “I feel liberated,” said a top banker. “We can say [r-slur] and ‘pussy’ without the fear of getting cancelled . . . it’s a new dawn.”
[orange, celebrating] Worth it! I see this as an absolute win!
“So I could have moved into Kirribilli?” asks Albo after three years based in Qantas Chairman’s Lounge
Following news that Peter Dutton will live in Kirribilli House if elected, a furious Anthony Albanese said he had no idea there were entire houses available to him.
Following news that Peter Dutton will live in Kirribilli House if elected, a furious Anthony Albanese said he had no idea there were entire houses available to him.
Pemulwuy will be recognised as nation’s first domestic terrorist under proposed Coalition changes to national curriculum
The federal opposition has today unveiled a bold suite of education reforms aimed at strengthening Australia’s national identity and cultural unity, including a proposed reclassification of Bidjigal warrior Pemulwuy as the country’s first domestic terrorist.
Opposition Leader Peter Dutton says the changes will help ensure young Australians learn the “full story” of colonisation, particularly the parts that reframe organised Aboriginal resistance as a threat to law and order.
“Pemulwuy led violent raids, destroyed crops, and disrupted peaceful British settlement,” said Dutton.
“In today’s terms, that makes him a terrorist.”
( https://www.nma.gov.au/defining-moments/resources/pemulwuy )
Local shoplifter claims he was just trying to balance his trade deficit with Coles
"It's reciprocal theft"
Local man Don has told shopping centre security that he did not attack Coles by stealing an entire shopping cart full of groceries, claiming that he was simply balancing a trade deficit.
The thief announced a sweeping plan to steal 10% of all items from every store, which he claimed will help bring down the heavily inflated prices of groceries.
Albo says weirdest thing about stage fall was seeing Barnaby Joyce sprawled on floor
“One minute I’m walking backwards off a stage after giving a speech, the next thing you know I’m face to face with the member for New England, who's prone on the ground yelling ‘dead fucking c*nt’ into his phone with his feet up on a planter box"
The Prime Minister is physically okay but mentally shaken after falling off a stage at an event in Cessnock, only to see Barnaby Joyce taking a phone call on the ground below.
Albanese, who was giving a speech on ‘Same Job Same Pay’ laws, said the episode had taken him by surprise. “One minute I’m walking backwards off a stage after giving a speech, the next thing you know I’m face to face with the member for New England, who’s prone on the ground yelling ‘dead fucking cunt’ into his phone with his feet up on a planter box. It was quite terrifying actually,” Albanese explained.
Context:
Man who says public servants shouldn’t work from home, announces plan to work from Sydney home
"Only a lazy person wouldn't show up to work in Canberra"
Public servant Peter Dutton has announced an exception to his new rules demanding all public servants work from offices in Canberra, the exception of course being himself.
Context: ABC News: Albanese says PM should live in Canberra as Dutton opts for Kirribilli [in Sydney]
Conservative man discovers secret trick to getting elected PM: running as Liberal
(Political) Scientists hate him for discovering a new way to be a Conservative PM in Canada! And he can show you how to do it too! It’s the second episode of the relaunched Beaverton Weekly Report. The writ has dropped, and it hit Pierre Poilievre directly on the head. Luke and the Panel (Megan MacK...
Dutton opens budget reply speech: “Jim Chalmers is limp-wristed and his budget is gay”
Dutton said that cutting the excise on petrol was, on the other hand, strong and tough and manly.
Dutton said that cutting the excise on petrol was, on the other hand, strong and tough and manly.
Entire Coalition policy platform accidentally leaked on Signal group chat
“Everything they've been thinking about and planning over the past three years is in there"
In an embarrassing blunder ahead of the Coalition’s budget reply speech, shadow treasurer Angus Taylor has accidentally added an ABC journalist to the party’s Signal group chat, divulging a huge blank screen of secret policy detail.
The chat, which also includes Opposition Leader Peter Dutton and deputy leader Sussan Ley, reveals the extent of in-depth planning and sophisticated policy discussion that has taken place in the lead up to this year’s election.
Labor announces exact same climate promise as last election, “but for realsies this time”
"We swear we will think about not axing the policy this time"
The Labor Party have announced a groundbreaking new election promise to establish an EPA if they win the election, following 3 years of being in government after taking that exact promise to the last election.
A Labor spokesperson announced the policy has the party’s full support, unless of course word gets out that the Environment Minister organised a deal with The Greens and the Teals but the Prime Minister would prefer break the election promise than actually work with the cross-bench… again.
“You can trust our word,” said the spokesperson while updating the year on the old documents, “we swear we will think about not axing the policy this time.”
Nation exhausted by election that hasn’t even been f***ing called yet
they've been campaigning forever, just fuck off
A deeply divided Australia has found common ground in a shared feeling of complete exhaustion brought on by the federal election, before its even been fucking called.