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I guess most of us deal with this at some point:

The thought occurred to me, I want to take self-defense classes. So I'm thinking, well those may be segregated by gender, so I'll just join the men's group to avoid making a scene, stirring up tensions. Even though my body, mannerisms, clothing, is indicative of a woman. I don't pass all the time, but I'm getting much closer.

But I was willing to be casually misgendered, to be othered, to accept less than what I'm fighting for every day (recognition, equality), so other people wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

How is that OK?

I feel like it's a common issue for all minorities. Stay out of the way, try to fit in, deny your identity, settle for less. You'll be safe, you'll survive. For what?

Is this the reality I'm risking everything for?

When I vacationed with my partner, I deliberately chose porta-potties and unisex bathrooms. Nobody told me too, I wasn't forced. But what if a "Karen" blew up at me and caused a scene in the wo