How do you figure out your identity?

I know I'm not cis, but that's about it. I'm AFAB, I would like to appear more masculine, I have dysphoria around my chest and genitals and would like them to be more masculine, but I want to present as a femboy or a twink, I don't want facial hair or curves and I want a deeper voice. I like the idea of people not knowing what gender I am when they look at me. But at the same time neither she/her not he/him feel right for me, and I'm happier when people use they/them. Part of me thinks I don't need a label, but at the same time I feel like I need a way do describe and identify myself. Can anyone help? I feel so confused.